ME

2006-05-27T06:07:00.000-07:00

2006-05-27T05:54:00.000-07:00

=these are the photos of the school that i teach in as an english teacher...=Ming Da xiaoxue=

2006-05-27T05:35:00.000-07:00

=these are the photos of dayan pagoda...with my boy,alimzhan....=

2006-04-12T07:18:00.000-07:00

=life in china---->part 2=

my life has never been better. My life's great. The time passes by quickly. I'm having a hard time learning chinese. but i've had some great chinese friends aka tutors. Rmbr the guy,alimzhan??? He admitted that he liked me. Jesus!!!

He's really a nice guy. Every of his mannerisms & style=every girl's dream. Only problem's between us is communciation. I feel protected when I'm with him. The most Mr Perfect Guy I've ever met.

I'm moving slow. I really like him too. but the age's a factor between us. yeap. he turned out to be younger than me. A really shocker. He doesnt look younger than me. Yeap. But he's really the guy to die for. I'm serious. We are good friends.

Ahhh,my childhood friend who's a british army recently came to Nepal on a short visit. He emailed me to inform him about his wherebouts. yeap. He said he'll be waiting for me if i'm waiting for him. ~Geez. Why am I always in a tight spot! Darn. Anyways,I replied back to him already.

I'm having great fun in xi'an man. I'm steadily picking up the chinese language. My primary sch kids are driving both me & my "sis" nuts. Big time. Ahahahha. But they r a joy to teach. Kekekek. There was this time when I tried to pronounce sth in chinese "lao shi" which is suppose to mean teacher but it ended up meaning "mouse". Embarrassing piece of shit. Kekekkee.

I'm eating alot and going to the toilet alot of times as well. kekekke...

i love my friend who's also my roommate & my lil "angel".

I love my hostel room & the workers there. One of them gave me a very nice gift for my birthday. Such a touching gesture.

I love the english corner baby!!! kekekke...I regret not taking english seriously but hey,i'm gonna brush up on that!!! * smirks*

I love my seniors!!! They r soooo friendly!!!! my university & I share the same birthday. *destiny* keekkeke

I had a great time on my birthday man.....*a blast*

I heard that the situation's really bad in nepal..riots happening everywhere...blearghhh~

alrighty...i'll take more pics of the area around...here's some at the moment...

rada,signing out...

god bless...

p/s: hey guys,i'll be getting my china mail add very soon so yeap,mail me ya!!!! *waves* u guys can call me if u have money la & if u r free at this number---->008613110446377 my cheena mobile no!!! free incoming baby!!

2006-04-10T00:03:00.000-07:00

=confusion=

I think I'm in wruff...

More on this...

2006-04-08T03:18:00.000-07:00

=life in china=

so what's been up this days?

the chinese classes have started...apparently,i'm a mth late for class. it's beenn 2 days learning chinese. I'm having fun learning the language but it's hard work. really diffcult. I like my room. hehehe. Me & my roomate whom i call her nano's decorated it really well. I miss nepali food. I dun like chinese food a wee bit except for the spicy ones. kekekke.

my class's a great fun. i've got classmates all over the world. Japan,korea,england,spain & kazakhstan . I've got a crush on this guy from kazakhstan. Alimzhan's my classmate. he's the perfect gentleman. A real eye-candy & has a physique to die for. kekekee. I'll post his photos the next time. yeap.

We went clubbing on my bday. ordered chivas & had fun dancing. the only bad thing was the music that they played. techno!!! how i hate techno& house. but the DJs played some hip hop in the end. ALL my new friends were invited to my so called party. The bill came to a huge amount but ya,it was worth it. Alim was there as well. we drank our hearts out & danced with each other. He sent me 6 smses while we were in the club. Hahahaha. He admitted he liked me & respected me. So sweet. On that night,he disappeared for a while & when he finally turned up, he surprised me with a yellow rose. Romantic guy. He knows russian as well. He's every girl's dream guy. I'm serious. When out on the roads, every girl's gaze falls on him. But he's the sweetest thing on earth.

i'll describe more on my other blog. and another thing. i cant post my messages at my chatbox cos.....the program here is in chinese and my blog site doesnt open. arghhh...

i've got a part-time job as a sch teacher at a local sch. kekeke. will tell u more.

alrite that's it for now...
gottta go now...

rada..
maucks...

2006-04-03T05:15:00.000-07:00

=exciting affair=

I'm havent got the time to settle down and write my blog.Here I am finally settled down listening to a feel good hindi song & writing my blog. so what's up for me nowadays?

I'm finally in Xi'an province. It's a beautiful city. I found out from some of the locals that they consider this province a higer sub urban area. It's clean & hip city. Peace & tranquility. The people here are quite helpful but they often run away from u when u start speaking english.

Let me start from the begining. My parents & my younger brother came to the nepalese airport to send me off. I was overwhelmed by the emotions that my "dam" of tears burst. My eyes were literally clouded by tears. Everyone was there,our usual 4 group members. When we finally touched down to Shanghai,we called the person who's suppose to bring us to Xi'an. After an hour,he came. We were surprised to see him. He didnt look like a trainee doc at all. He's our senior. Looks can be deceiving ay? there were more surprises install for us. Kekkee. Anyways,the 1st mistake we made was to buy a SIM card without consulting the senior. I found out that it was damn expensive. Tsk tsk.

Anyhoo,the total plane journey from kathmandu to shanghai lasted for nearly 5 hours. & we had to take another domestic flight to Xian province which was another hmmm 2 hours more. I was totally shagged. & the most dreaded part was that the chinese people do not SPEAK english. Arghhh. Boy,i had a hard time here in Xi'an. Fortunately for us,we had the senior to arrange things for us. He could speak fluent chinese. we were so impressed. Later on we found out that he had passed the HSK chinese proficiency test at a secondary level. Very impressive indeed.

The chinese food was an unexpected shock as well. I always used to think that the chinese people eats bland food. but yea,man was the food spicy like hell just like thai style. Yummy. Hehhehe.

Internet's very cheap down here. Super cheap but everything's in chinese. The whole window XP. I always have to trouble the chinese personnel working there. One bad point about the cyber's that the pc's dun usually have MSN. so we have to download the MSN each time we use a different pc.

Some of the people mistook us for chinese. My nanoo (madhuri) & me & one of the dada (rajendra). So far,we have been sight-seeing. Classes are gonna start from monday onwards. Xi'an city's fabulous. Shopping can be loads of fun if U HAVE $$$. i want a job so badly. ~bleargh. And i dun wanna lose anymore weight. I dun look nice looking skinny--->i just realised it.

Home sick...I'm so home-sick. I miss my parents & my bros. I just realised how important my parents are to me. I'm trying not to spend money like I would elsewhere. It's so depressing to WINDOW-SHOP & not to buy. HUrffff. anyhoo,i realised that the chinese people here dont know english much so if u speak english, u are automatically the star!!! Hahhaha..I'm serious.

I went to the english corner at my hostel. Right now,i live at the foreign international language university. the engish corner's held every thursday. zillions of chinese people come here to converse with each other in english so as to improve their english. so being a foreign obviously an advantage. coming to china has improved my english tremandously---->in the spoken area,oral. I met some cute guys there. Thank god. ever since i came here,i havent spot a single good looking guys. Jesus. This is a good thing for me as well as a bad thing. Tsk tsk. and i've noticed that chinese people have bad breath---in china. No offence. oh,the cute guys are from some province in china and they r a minority but THEY SPEAK FLUENT ENGLISH WITH AN AMERICAN SLANG. i was so grateful. plus they are muslim. Hehehehe. ANyhoo,i took down their numbers just in case.

I played basketball at the campus. The rest of the nepalese seniors are so niceeeeeeeee. one of the senior bought Mac Donalds burger for us. Yummy!!! Yeap. I've bought a satin nightgown in pink. muahahhaaha. my roommate,madhuri whom i call nanu's such a sweetheart. She's always so cheerful & an absolute darling. Her english's damn good. Mine pales in comparison to hers. Tsk tsk. ahahhaa. Pretty girl.

I dunnoe why but i feel old. i dun feel like interacting with the people..make friends. tsk tsk* i'm becoming a hermit..an introvert. yikes. that's a total opposite of my old self. and someone commented that i dun have a bod which is very sad. i dun wanna be skinny already. i wanna be fit,just nice. gain some weight and exercise. yeap. fat is better that skinny. hurff.

I've to take 6mths chinese language course & pass the test b4 i can enter the medical course. yeap. that's gonna be tough. i wanna work in the asian countries such as hongkong or singapore.yeap. for that,i've to be efficent,be a top student. I've to work hard.

I'm going clubbing this week. next week,the classes are gonna study so i've to devote my time entirely on studies.

I went to pizza hut. Gawrd!! that was my 1st visit after so many months since i was back from singapore.

I've been picking up some chinese phrases which i realise is different from s'pore mandrain.

that's it for now. i'm feeling sick. down with a mild sorethroat. bleargh.

urs truly,moody banana.
rada
signing out!

2006-03-25T17:17:00.000-08:00

=Mood Swings---->negative vibes=

Listening to Hindi songs.."aashiq banaya aapna"---->u have made me lover *tat's a direct translation. There's a hindi singer name "Himesh Reshammiya" which is a damn good singer. I wruff listening to his songs nowadays. Sometimes,I wonder why the fellow's wearing a cap all the time. *raises eyebrow*

Anyways,I'm feeling really down. Partly becos I miss my maternal grandma so much & I heard that she's not feeling well. I'll definetely not be going to China with a happy soul. Another problem--->I cant get hold of the "No-Objection" Letter which's an important letter to go abroad to study. It's needed in the banks to exchange the required dollars for the abroad overseas. According to the NMC, one needs a chemistry,physics,biology at an A-level to do MBBS. The rule's so restricted & it doesnt give chances to those people who wants to do medicine. I dunnoe what it is gonna be this coming tuesday.*shivers* I could be refused flight to China at the Royal Nepal Airport if...the immigration officer's rigid & asks for the " "No-Objection" Letter which I dont have yet. The NMC people will be sitting a meeting to discuss this but this meeting will not take place till maybe a month? Anyways,I'll be trying my luck for the last time tmr. See what happens.

My hair!!! Bloody straightening cream kinda spoilt my hair. I was so damn pissed. Arghh. I had to colour my hair again but now my hair's in a delicate state. Damaged! I gotta revive it by taking real good care of it. Hurff!

I feel so stressed out suddenly. Maybe pressurized? I've been pigging out due to that. Yea, I tend to stuff myself with food when I'm down & out, or simply stressed out. =( Not a good practice rite?

Hmm,I'm finally almost done packing my suitcase. I'm left with my hand luggage. I really want to include my hair curler but I'm out of weight! Hurff! Bummer!!!

Load shedding's back *load shedding---->a practice whereby the electricity goes every twice timing in a day to conserve electricity. Water & electricity's depleting in Nepal due to lack of rain. Yea, it didnt rain for 4 mths when finally it rained 2 days in a row recently. It was a disappointing drizzle *heaves a big ~Sigh*
Anyways,load shedding's back & it seems that my fav hobby has become taking pics in the dark with my canon ixus digi cam *yawns*. I've spent my free time sun tanning,playing with tommy & editing pics using adobe photoshop & ulead programs.

Ahh,recently I went to take a passport size photo. I ordered 20 pieces cos' it's needed in China as well. I was told to prepare those. The photo turned out to be a disaster,not at all like what expected ah. Disappointing man! Now I've to carry that ugly pic everywhere. Hurff.

See what I mean. A list of Eeky-Yucky things happening to me *shrugs*

Ahh,I met cassie online recently. I had fun chatting with her. Lolx. Some X-rated topics popped out. Hilarious. I still havnt got ur letter dear. F**K the postal system here & also the *&^*&^*& post office. Hurff. Hey cassie, I want a powder & face brush can? For my birthday? Hahaha.

Poor kali maya...She's still buried in a 6 feet pile of assigments.*Psst,she's only a 5 feet I tink* Muahaha. Oh yea, A BIG SHOUT OUT to my Daphhie Gurl! How' ya doing babes?

My blog site's finally in a decent state,thanks to Adel mimi. *waves*

This guy friend* we r not really close* told me that I'm pathetic to have only 1 bf. I guess it's true ah in terms of numerics. Come to think about it------>I feel that I was All along afraid to commit ah...& I finally gave chance to Hahn who happened to be my only 1st & also last bf. *Btw,it could have been our 2 years anniversary today*

I've had enough of serious relationship *I think I've already mentioned this in my last entry* Now,I'm up for an open relationship =) Best for me! Heh~ I dun wanna be tied down. I'll be settling for arranged marriage later on *winks* Pakcik, u up for it? Lolx.

Ahh,the Uk army childhood fren? Rmbr him?> Sadly,I've had no news of him already. Ahahaha. It doesnt bother me though. I just wonder when we'll cross each other's path again. Fate...it's really a unpredicatble thing. A box of paradox waiting to unlease all kinda chaos.

I went to visit my friend,Rachhie who happens to stay at the other side of the city. Jeez, the journey's took me about an hour? Yeap. I went with my youngest brother in his bike *rachhie's bro's my bro's friend as well * God! It was a harrowing ride to her house. As my bro got his license only recenly, he isnt a experienced ride & TRUST ME, he doesnt know the roads here in Nepal,we took the map along. Ahahaa. We had a near accident with a f**king jeep rider.We were keeping to our lane when He came speeding frm the opposite direction & zipped into our lane & then zipped out.I hate those drivers who thinks that they own the whole road to themselves. RETARDED PEEPS!!! At some point,the bike stalled in the middle of the road & he had to kick start on the spot quickly as the bike's required to be brought to neutral to be able to use the electric starter. Later on,he told me that he was sweating his arse off *He perspires a lot. I dunnoe why. Even when he sits down to write,the page of the book will be drenced in his sweat! Yucks* We got lost for a while * I'm very bad at directions..I really am. Tsk tsk*

Anyhoo,we had lotsa fun when we got to Rachhie's house. We sat down & talked our hearts off. Soon it was time to leave. We said our final goodbyes to each other.

I've yet to check my letterbox again. Will do it soon before I leave for China.

I've had some guests over at my place. My mum's relatives & my dad's side. I got to meet my paternal grandma at least.

My dad raised his voice at me. Yea,I felt angry but I guess I was cool within few mins. I know my dad too well. He has a quick temper partly owning that to his highblood pressure.

Later on at nite,my dad apologized. My dad bought gin & everyone tried including my grandma who had brandy 1st & then gin. Power man! She's 82 years of age& still going strong. I love her to bits. She's so cute, U know. She sings when she's gets tipsy. Haha.

I was damn tempted to eat boar meat today.*boar's meat a pork rite?* In the end, I couldnt bring myself to eat it. I immediately thought of Cassie when we went to Crystal Jade at Suntec City*was it crystal jade? anyways,it was some chinese restuarant* when I was in S'pore. She ordered this siew mia or dumplings made of pork fillings & she was tempting me to eat those. Hahaha.

My guy cousin's one of my guest now & my whole family went for an evening walk. I walked past the football field. It was the same guys again. I always see them around & I awalys feel that they stare at me right through my bones *shivers* There's this particular guy. He's cute no doubt. He's got this bad ass look which any woman would die for. I always get the feeling of being watched by him. There was this time when I was walking down the street & he was on his bike with his group of friends surrounding him. I was chatting with my auntie while looking at him & I was smiling at my auntie's comments. He too caught my eyes & When he was about to take off, I swear he looked straight at me & flashed a huge smile. Hahhaa. I didnt know how to react so I maintained my smile which this time round was meant for him.

I bought some hair accessories & did braided my hair into two just like a lil school girl. He commented that I looked good---cute today with that hairstyle & should wear that style more often. Ahahaha. He's into cute demure looking girls man. Lolx.

I met my cousin out on the streets. She was shocked to see my hair colour but commended that it looked nice. So far,I've had positive feedback about my hair colour la. It's a fresh new change for me. Heh.

I've got blessings from my relatives to study hard & well & to fulfill my ambition. A wonderful feeling. Nothing beats that.

The damn cyber cafe was packed today. It's saturday after all. Pissed that I couldnt use the com. *grumbles*

My maternal grandma's down with flu virus!!! Arghh. Damn it. I cant visit her at all. I'm at my wits end. I really miss her...ALOT...The feeling of longing for her...I'm scared that I might not ever see her again.*sobs*

I'll pray to GOD that my grandma & every of my relativesbe well & healthy.

I guess that's it for today. It's load shedding again.*grumbles more* I'm using my laptop utilizing the batt.*blearghh*

Gonna go to NMC tmr. See what they install for me.

Peeps,BE GOOD ya!!!
muacks,
rada-------->I hate my name man.

2006-03-21T17:20:00.000-08:00

=Hectic Day=

Today was a hectic day. I got up early as usual & got ready to go to the Ministry of Sports & Education to request for the "No-objection letter" which is all so crucial when going abroad. My poor agent had to run here and there to get things done. Mine & one of the other girl's cases were wee bit different. According to the Nepal Medical Council(NMC), one has to have chemistry,physics & biology with a 2nd class division pass mark. I studied Medical tech frm S'pore & I guess I was the only one to have that cert & the other girl didnt take physics during her A-level. However the registar if the NMC gave us a go head to do MBBS as we were deemed qualified by them. The only problem's that they couldnt issue us a letter as a meeting between the deans had to be arranged. & This usually takes place every 10 days.We dun have time for that. At the end of the day, the work wasnt done due to the officers at the ministry being fussy about this point. This particular officer frm the ministry of sports & education asked for my agent's contact number. It was so bloody clear that he wanted some "tea-money" which in other means bribe. Till this day,my country's still plaqued by corruption & bribery.*tsk tsk* It disgusts me as well as angers me.

I had my medical examination as well. There was the x-ray part. The freaking fellow asked me where I'm going abroad & upon knowing that I did medical tech studies, advised me to do my studies here in Nepal rather than in China where I'll be spending more money.He told me that Nepal's medicine study's equally recognized and docs frm Nepal has gone to the US for employment. & then there was the blood test. Phlbotemy *i think i might spell it wrongly* I was worried that it might be painful to have my blood drawn.*it always is!!! expect for the time when Mr Sng took my blood during those poly pracs* But hey hey,SURPRISE!!! The girl was a professional!!! She did it so effortlessly that I hardly knew noticed that thewhole thing was over just like that!! In a flash!! Kekeke. And T-H-E-N...the most dreaded part ECG!!! Short form for electrocardiogram which means this test checks for ur heart rate & defects. I used to love performing ECGs on the those IMH patients when I was having my industrial attachment. But right now, the reason why i used the word "dreaded" cos I was the patient. For christ sake,this test was done by a male doc. It was bloody awkward intially but the guy was a professional.He made it so easy for me & of cos less embarrassing for the both of us.

My left eye's been infected. Bloody hell!!! Hurff. The roads or so as to say the environment here sucks big time. It's so dusty!!! & my eyes are particularly sensitive to these things. I keep rubbing my eyes constantly and to make the matters worse,I wear contact lens out with eye make-up. So imagine the damage I do to my eyes. For the 1st time after I got back home,I took off my lens,cleaned them with the solution & put on my nerdy puff specs & went to cyber cafe. Lolx. I could see those familar faces *those street guys that i always see* turned their heads. Ahahaha. I must have looked scary balls. Hehehe.

Ah...Did i mention that 4 other peeps r going to be my classmates? yeap,3 guys & 2 girls including me. The girl's a real beauty I must say. Her name's MADHURI. She's got flawless skin & she's a natural beauty unlike me. Ahahaa. A year younger than me. She was gushing over my coloured contact lens & hair. Funny girl. I dunnoe why but I cant handle compliments faceto face. I'll be a dumb ass, blushing away BUT trying to act like a COOL BANANA as usual. All thanks to the upbringing of my funky aka, the one and only fatimath spelled with M-A-T-H at that back,my sapadiya anti-gravity maldivian friend. How I miss her.

Rmbr that I mentioned about one of my "soon to be classmate guy"? Yeap! I met him today as well. He looks so much like a honkie guy man & even dresses like one. He seems older than me though. Way older. BUT CUTE!!! Lolx. I cant deny that. The other guy's super matured. Madhuri & I checked his passport which he left in our vincity & we found out that he's born in the year 1977!!! Imagine that! He's like 29 years old. The other guy,I've yet to meet him. He didnt make it for today's events.

I'm dying to buy an aviator lens!!! I wanna own them. I nearly bought one today *smirks*

Ah...I went to cyber "cafe" today. Met Kali maya online. Poor girl,she's been buried in a 6 feet assigments in melbourne. Kekeke. She was complaining that she missed having fun like she used to when we were in our poly years. Heh. And guess who I met online today...

Hahn..One and only.

I took the intiative to chat with him so that he cant accuse me of being stuck-up & fogetting him. Things were a wee bit awkward. It rose for me when he complimented me on how good I looked nowadays. How thin & hot I've become. ~Sigh. He talked about how he missed those times we had together & how he wished we had quality time together. I agreed on that. I was so caught up in jealousy and blinded by I dunnoe what that I didnt feel or understand the meaning of being loved or to love in a relationship. In a way,I'm thankful that my relationship with Hahn ended. Both of us have given a lot to each other on both of our parts. However I feel that Hahn always willop himself in self-pity which I dislike very much. On top of that,he's very accusing & sees only what he did *In other word, he tends to be narrow-minded* This relationship has taught me a lot & it has costed me a lot.

At the end of everything, we still r cool with each other. & most importantly, we r still friends. Right now, all he needs is a little time to get over me. As for me, I've gotten over him & this relationship. I've reasoned with my past & has come out to be a stronger & better person. I'm a much happier person, carefree.

I must say I'm back to square one & I've lapsed into my oh-so-flirtatious way. Gawrd,help me! Ha-ha. I've kinda decided that I dun ever want to be in a serious relationship. I dun wanna be tied down to a person. I'm more for an open relationship. Commitment scares me right now. Maybe when I get married will all these idealisms of mine disappear.

Oh yea, I coloured my hair AGAIN!!! Yeap. Burgundy colour. Blackish purple. I wrufff that colour!!! It makes me look exotic & mysterious. & CASSIEEE!!! IF U R READING THIS, i recommend u colour ur hair in this shade. It suits u. Rmbr the time when U had to colour ur hair becos of ur teacher interview session? It suit u so well. It really looked good on u. I must admit that the colour "burgundy"'s not really striking but it's unique la. Try it. =)

I'm thinking of straightening my hair too. Temporary. It's not rebonding. Dont worry. Hehehee. I'll upload the pic of my latest hairdo cum hair colour alritey?

Pakcik, my dearest pakcik...Where art thou? U seem to be freaking out boy!!! Ahahahaha. Dont worry okies? I'll update u on my latest mailing add & of cos my contact no. I'm NOT IN CHINA YET! Hahahha.

Talking about China...I'll be flying off to China this saturday if everything's done or latest by next tuesday.Night flight, 12.20am. FreAk!!! I hate night flights!!!! Feeling sad.. I'm gonna miss my close knit family. & my pup-sy tommy!!!

Oooooooh...I forgot to mention that Shuan-y guy dropped me a message in friendster. Yeap, the cute shuan guy, Cassie mimi's friend!!! Ahahhaa. I think he was the one who wanted to learn indian/bhangra dance from me. Lolx. If i ever got a chance to meet u...I'll surely teach u a thing or two, right Cassie? *winks* Hahaha. Anyways,I think he's cute la. He reminds me of Neo. Very much of Neo. Hehehe.

Ahhh...I'm gonna retire to bed now. Tmr's gonna be a busy day as well. DAY 2 of The China Fiesta. Gotta collect my medical report,my no-objection letter & do my bank drafts,traveller's check & currency exchange! Brand new day tmr...

Muacks!!!
Sweet Dreams=
Signing Out,
Rada

P/s: CASSIE DEAR!!! i've yet to receive ur mail man!!! F***K the post office in Nepal!!! Arghhhhhh...
I havnt heard frm mama in a long time...Where r u??

2006-03-20T17:33:00.000-08:00

20th March 2006

=Happy Freak that's what I am=

I woke up to a great morning. The air was fresh, the sky was bright and sunny. My parents were discussing about my brothers welfare * yep, my dad's thinking of joining my brothers to an army camp to train to become UK British army personnel* to my next door neighbour. Apparently, that cute neighbour of mine wants to join the camp as well. In this training camp, they are trained by Ex-British army personnel to be the best, to prepare the young guys for the real test. In order to be eligible for the training camp, one has to be p-e-r-f-e-c-t. well, literally man!!! One has to have a perfect set of pearlies, perfect eye sight & decent education. My dad's planning to get lasik eye surgery done on my brothers & also fix their teeth. Oh boy, that's gonna cost loads of $$$. But I guess it's worth it. I'm pretty sure that both of my bros will be selected. However my younger bro’s kinda lazy & he doesn’t put in any effort. ~Sigh. I’m forever pushing him so that he can get far in his life. He's married somemore. Sometimes I'm worried for him.

Did I mention that both of my brothers have motorbike licenses now!!! Ha-ha! It's so easy down here. All u have to do is pass the figure of 8 unlike in S'pore whereby u have to pass a whole lot of obstacles. ~Phew. I guess I'm an expert already ah. Ahaha.

Today on Kantipur Newspaper…they mentioned that maoists have taken back the!!“banda” which means they have decided not to have any blockades outside of the city!!! That means that I can visit the temple “manakamana”!!! High possiblility…Yippee!!! I'll be meeting the china agency folk’ tmr. See what they have installed for me. I'll be doing my medical examination tmr as well as make a trip to the ministry of sports & education for the no-objection letter that is required when one goes abroad to study.

Moving on…

I had scary incident the night b4. In the middle of the night, I heard someone coughing badly or it sounded more like vomitting. I woke up to check my area vincity only to realise that it was my puppy tommy!!! I guess something got stuck in his throat *I think it’s chicken bones * & he was trying to regurgitated out. Poor thing. I accompanied him for a while before I retired to bed again.

For the past week, my family’s been staying vigilant through the nights. We had our cooking gas cylinders stolen. I’m serious man. Those thieves climbed up the 2nd floor & took off with their loot. 3 gas cylinders. Freaking expensive to buy those again. It’s our mistake, as we didn’t take notice. No one expected this to happen. My mum was cursing those thieves away. She literally went berserk for a while. Ahahaha.

My cousin finally went to the village area. I asked him to bring my grandma along the next time he comes which is in 2 days. I want to see her for one last time. I dunnoe if I would ever get a chance to do so in the coming years. She’s growing frail & old. ~sigh.

My parents agreed to let me come home every 2 years when there’s a break. Plane ticket’s super expensive---àthat’s the reason. I reasoned with my dad as whether I could visit S’pore as well during my sch break. He’s only agreeable if he has a job. I hope he secures a job soon. Everything would be easy then.

I showed my mum the pics that I took with her on that day. We were wearing the traditional gurung/tamang dress. She commented how photogenic I looked. I playfully told her that of cos, had I not looked good in pics, guys wouldn’t be desperate to catch my attention. She said “yea, all the guys will be deceived when they see u in reality-face to face”. I guess she’s right. I look shabby when I’m at home so much so that people can’t recognize me. Lolx. I love to doll up when I’m going out only. Bummer. Ahahaha.

Ahhh, did I mention that I saw this Indian ad at cable & guess what? I own the same top that Aiswariya Rai* the Indian miss universe beauty queen * wears for her Lux’s soap commercial. Ahahaha. Funny.

I’m itching to go out. My blog’s in a mess. The chatterbox’s situated in a weird layout. Kekeke. I’m trying to fix it ASAP. I’m a noob at doing blog man. *tsk tsk*

Peace out,
rada..

p/s:I feel so guilty for not going running today. but....i exercised!! i gotta lose that bulging tummy of mine. IT'S disgusting!!! ~Bleargh...

2006-03-19T17:20:00.000-08:00

=Beautiful Life=

Nothing beats a hot bath,yummy dinner & a bunch of ur loving folks awaiting for u at home. I feel so blessed to have a loving family *god forbids if i ever take them for granted again*, blessed to have food on my table & all the comforts in the world. I'm not that religous but I'm learning about my religion/s. Yeap,Understand & respect every religion.

Talking about religion, me,my mum & my aunt have been making holy cotton wicks dabbed with red holy vermillion powder *those stuff whereby u light them in the temple* Boy, is the work tedious with a capital "T". It's a whole load of hard work & finally we reached our aim to make 100,000+++ of those tiny wicks. Days, Weeks of cramped fingers & relentless backaches. It's finally finished. The purpose of going thrgh all these trouble's becos I want to pray for the well-being of my family members,my relatives,my dearest friends & of cos world peace *I'm serious here,it's nt those beauty peagant thing whereby U hear this phrase*

One goes to this particular temple which is called "manakamana" which is high atop the hill. Cable car service's irregular *Yeap,u heard me!!! We have cable cars here in Nepal!!* The temple's quite a distance away from the city. The temple's name "manakamana" literally means "Ur heart felt wishes/Goals fulfilled". One believes that if U ever go here & pray with a sincere heart for ur reasonable wishes, those precious wishes will come true. Going to this temple's not a simple affair. Many of the devotees go here with animal sacrifies & the 100,000 cotton wicks dabbed with red holy vermillion powder. My goal was to make a trip to the temple & visit my grandma at the village before i go to China but NoooOOO I guess it's not possible. Damn,those maoists rebels!!! They have planted attacks outside of the city. The roads are blocked & they have vowed to stage a major attack on the 25th Chaita of this Nepal lunar month. I miss my grandma so much!!! *I'm talking about my maternal grandma* ~Sigh. She's becoming weaker by the day. I argued with my parents to keep her as well my grandpop here with us & yesh, they have agreed on the condition that my grandparents agree to stay.

All my bags r packed. Well,almost.I'm left with buying a sweatpants. I'm gonna buy the Abercrombie one that i saw at the mall!!! Heh~ I tell u..I'm such a spolit brat! I REALLY feel that at times. *Lucky b*****d that's what I would call myself* That's my flip side. Maybe becos I'm in Nepal. The things are so affordable & quality packed as well that I'm living a "tai-tai" life IF u know what i mean. My skin's 10 times better. It's becoming so much flawless & fairer of cos. Less break outs!!! *grins* All thanks to ~Fair & Lovely-New vitamins cream~Swiss apricot scrub~ My hair's so much softer & in a better stead. All thanks to ~Miss marino hair softner & lolane AHA hair conditioner~ *muahahhaha*

I'm feeling SUPER happy today!!! I dunnoe why to. Hehehe. I surprise myself sometimes. Wait a min. Maybe it's becos of my.....FRIENDS!!! Yeap, i went to Cyber cafe straight after my afternoon jog *well,it's nt really a cafe* & I met my friends online!!! How I miss them!!! U have no idea!!! I miss hanging out with them!!! Oh yeap, I forgot to mention that I'm running to keep fit these few days. Going on a diet is a killer for me. Hahaha. I'm serious. I wruff all the good food!!! So i came up to a conclusion that I'm gonna exercise rather than go on a painful diet *i rather die a rich fat arse* Anyhoo, I turned up at the cyber cafe in my sports gear all sweaty & flushed. I tell U all the flies were attracted to me instantly. Lolx. Hilarious sight when i was fending off those irritating flies. It's the starting of the summer now in Nepal and yeap,all the flies comes out to play *those pesky flies cut down their activities during winter*

I dunnoe whther it's my imagination or just plain weird to have guys singing songs whenever I'm in their vincity. Lolx. I'm serious. It's hilarious. I'm starting to notice only now. "She's the bomb"----> that's a hip hop song that's very popular in Nepal right now. I've had guys doing their own stuff and when i walk pass them, they start singing that song. There was this lad, a bold one who made a passing remark---->"Damn,she's hot!" when i was with my DAD!!! Thank god,my dad didnt hear him!!! Ahahaha.

*Shrugs* Guys on the rooftops...Guys on the roads...Ahahaha...Particularly when I go jogging---I seem to attract a lot of attention. Lolx.

=====Happenings IN the Cyber======

I met the guy,J at the cyber cafe. *Rmbr the guy who had the same name as my dad & I call him "Dhai" * Yeap,that fellow. I asked him whether he had Msn?? *Duhx! Who wldnt right?" I added him & we started chatting. He asked whther I had any boyfriend. *Horrors* I told him "Nope,I dun. & I dun plan to have one ever." He replied me with a delightful & of cos head-scratching answer----->"Good for you." I mean what was he trying to say. ~Only God knows.Anyway,I didnt bother to ask & chatted with the rest of my friends.

Next I met "Kali"!!!! I miss her so much...Her oh-so-famous J.LO butt~~~ Kidding..So much that i kissed her "cyberly" with a big fat "muacks"!!! Hahaha. She was disgusted by it but deep down in her heart, I know that she loves me kissing her! *Right kali???* She claimed that she's an avid reader of my blog. Currently stressed out by her assignments,she's has turned to my blog as a remedy.Hahahaha. I'm quite surprised to know that a couple of my friends still reads my blogs. Awwww...Thank u guys!!! U all r such sweethearts!!! *Muacks!!!* I'll try to update my blog often okie? I promise. I dun really make frequent trips to the cyber cafe. I prefer to make a trip every 3 days? Yeap. I like getting emails frm my friends and of cos strangers. It's a joy reading them & replying to them. It's like opening christmas presents or merely gifts! Anyhoo,I met rachhie online as well. She's still in Nepal,planning to take up a teaching job. She lamented how she wld twist the ears of those naughty kids if they went out of hand. Lolx. I found out that she still uses the "Basket" word. Hilarious. We were discussing about bikes.*me,kali & rachhie* I was the envy of both of them as I had rode in a couple of bikes. I'm promised to meet rachhie up before I leave for China.

I met adel as well. She asked me whether I know about Cassie & me. I told her..."kinda". It really pains me to see their friendship turned out this way. She commented that she felt awkward chatting with me cos I'm really close to Cassie. For goodness sake, I've always regarded all my friends equally. Cassie's special to me but I treat adel & rest of my friends indifferently too. Anyhoo,it was nice talking to her,catching up with her. She & her MAC eye-liner incident. How blur can she get.She's adorable though.

I met "hamster girl" as well. Cute sweet thing. Hehhehe. She & her beau makes a "Sweet!" couple. All the best in ur Mel studies. Be focus ya? & of cos, all the best in ur relationship~ Yeap, i did mention abt the stinky panties in my blog. I had to!! Nothing beats that incident man!!!

To those people commenting that I could be a model-------> I cant be a model. 1stly,u need a body to die for. 2ndly,a face to kill for. An exotic beauty. 3rdly,personality's gotta be kick arse!!! Sadly to say, i dun possess any of these qualities. Too bad~ I'm a failed model...Heh~

Let's zip back to the cyber incident.

I met Din! The indian s'porean guy. He was the cause of the trouble between me & Hahn at one point. I think he likes me. He used to invite me out for lunch and movie dates but I was attached at that time. Anyhoo, I chatted with him abt hindi movies and songs & of cos the recent festival, HOLI!!! The festival of colours!!!

I met 2 Nepalese guys online who added me thrgh Hi5. They got my MSN add frm there & added me. The 1st one, subash guy was complaining that i'm not chatting with him enough & he went offline eventually. Ahahaha. The other guy named parlat gurung was an interesting case. Here's why.

He started chatting with me.
Him: Hi there...I believe that we have chatted b4.
Me: U r?
Him: Parlat---->at this time,i wasnt keen on knowin his name..I cldnt be bothered.
Me: Ahhh,How did u get my add??
Him: Hi5. I added u some time ago. We chatted for a while. It was like a one minute chat stand.
Me: Jeez,it sounds so wrong boy.----> yeah,it did sound wrong. It was like saying "one night stand". Yikes.
Him: So u r in S'pore already?
Me: Nope,I'm in nepal now. Flying off to China to study soon.
Him: Ahhh...okie.may i ask how old u r?
Me: Very old.
Him:antique? ancient?
Me: i'm turning 21 this 7th april.
Him: I'm 20. but dun call me brother ya.
Him: Is that ur Holi pic?----->I had a couple of pics up at my MSN display pics consisting both of holi & gunyo cholo day.
Me: Yeap.
Him: Gosh,U look nice in sari. R girls always pretty even when at holi day and war?
Me: Hmm,yesh.

Then he goes talking abt how His holi day was a mess. He was covered with colours frm head to toes.

Then.....it struck me that we've got sth in common..He's chatting with me in English & nt nepali for goodness sake!!! Well,i forgot to mention that most nepalese guys chat with me in nepali which i get lost halfway in between the conversation. I was getting really comfy with this guy here. For the 1st time, I was with the same wavelength with a guy. I asked him where he lived.

Me: so where do u stay?
Him: Jawlahkel
Me: OMG* U serious?------>I was surprised that he lived so near me.
Him: Yea,why? Where do u stay?
Me: Nakhipot
Him:I used to live there but moved. so r u feeling uncomfortable?
Me: Why? Ahaahhaa..Should i?
Him: I should.
Him: Kidding
Him: so u know chinese?
Me: yea, i do. I used to stay in S'pore
Him: okie. Ask me my name in chinese. I used to stay in GC as well.

*horrors*

me: Wait a min. U used to stay in GC?
Him: Yea,i used to stay there,been 5 years since i came here in Nepal. U used to stay outside ay?
Me: Noooo!! I used to stay in GC as well!!!

Now both of us are really curious to know who is one another. This is when the guessing game started. He was asking me where i used to stay & vice versa. & guess what???!!! He knows my friends but doesnt know me. I dun rmbr him as well but I know his friends too. It was getting really really interesting & bizarre of cos. Then….it ended just like that! Hah! A huge disappointment I must say! I think he got disconnected or sth and I couldn’t stay for long as it was getting dark.

Everyone’s going abroad. It seems like the grass’s indeed greener on the other side. Oh well, that’s it for now.

Oh wait a min. I had a weird and irritating morning. I was waken up by a rude startling noise. I got up to only find that my psycho neighbour was complaining her big fat arse off. I searched for my parents & surprisely found out that they were still in the house. I thought that they were outside listening to that pesky neighbour of mine screaming on top of her voice. I was sooooo damn pissed when I found out that she was actually telling off my poor cousin.

I went downstairs feeling enraged.*I really was* to give her my own piece of mind. I got my parents to go with me as well. Apparently, she was complaining that someone *someone who’s obviously us * has thrown poo *yeap,shit * in their area. She was indirectly hinting to us. U had no idea how angry I was at that moment. I told her that we have had the same problem as them. Some “thing” always comes to our fences and leaves behind poo-pies. I seriously couldn’t stand her irritating, interrupting tone & accent. *&^&%^$!!! I shouted at her that we are not that kind of people who would hurl poos in our neighbours’s areas. In a sarcastic manner, I told them that unless our puppy,tommy dearest could climb up that high a fence, then the whole fiesta’s done by us. *Tommy’s only 4mths old & he’s still so small * In the end, I think she got frightened by my family members & me. Everything ended by reaching to a conclusion that a monkey could have dropped by.* well, a monkey’s spotted around my area* & of cos her saying “let’s look out for each other then & I’m sorry if u guys feel offended. Dun get offended.”

The end of the whole drama mama. I hate people who accuse other peeps of doing sth that they didn’t do. F**k them balls!!! Anyhoo, have a good day ya all!!!

Peace out,
Radha

P/s: Pakcik,I’m still not in china yet. Lolx. Dun worry!! I’ll write down my details so that u guys can contact me anytime alrite? *smiles*

2006-03-19T03:47:00.000-08:00

=Groovy Fubky Dunky Days=

I havnt been updating my blog regularly but ya i'm trying. muahahhaa. i guess it's the "making trips to the cyber shop" & the money spent that's holding me back a wee bit. Soooo wass been up? Here's the latest juiciest of the juicy news.----->Feast on them,Feed your souls baybehs!!!

1stly, i've got my personal acceptance letter frm the china uni! *found out that class is starting on the 30th march!* wooooooohoooo~ u have no idea how excited and nervous i'm feeling!! Flutterflies attacks in my belly!!! Oh yea,i forgot to mention that i met one of my "gonna-be-classmate-soon" at the agency. Yeap,he's flying off with me!!! *grins* Boy,was that lad cute! Slurps~Ha-ha. Focus rada!! Yesh,i'm nt gonna have any serious relationship with any guy ------>though i'm tempted at times..U cant blame me wen the guys r that candy cute..*sticks out my tongue*<-------

2ndly,Damn!!! the kathmandu mall's awesome!!!! Shopping's a BLAST!!! *of cos if u have $$$ la!!* Anyhoo,the mall's super new *it opened recently & it's has a lot of potential* I bought some stuffs over there. Hmmm,i bought rayban sunglasses!!! Killer shades man!! Muahahaha.& yesh,i bought a pair of kawaii shoes!! Green ones!! Dunnoe why but i'm a sucker for green stuff. I guess the influence comes frm cassie.*rmbr we planned to make our prom dresses in lime green satin shade just like beyonce Knowles's one?Yea..Ever since tat! *smirks* I had a great time shopping but i knew that my "companies" werent too pleased<----my dad& bro accompanied me on my shopping spree!! *kekekkee*

Damn,i was in love with the Christian Dior bag. The pink & white one with the number? Yeap. I nearly bought the bag but it was hmmm nt up to my standard. It was dirty. I'm thinking of getting a burberry handbag to match my traveller bag along with my wallet!!

Cassie,kodok,hamster girl & other mimis..Please do visit Nepal!!! Beautiful scenery,Rich history along with cultures, Funky people esp*the guys*,Cheap shopping,great Crusine,Clubbing & so much more! ONCE IS NOT ENOUGH!!!

3rdly---->my dad got a new bike for my youngest brother for his 18th b-day. An american brand bike. MotoAupa. Boy,ter were some days of drama after we got the bike. Intially,we all planned on getting this particular motorcross scrambler bike.But when we reached the showcase,My brother liked the cruiser bike *thanks to my influence* I tell u he's soooo like me!! Very alike!!! Anyways,my dad didnt like it cos it looked old compared to the scrambler,motorcross bike. So for three freaking days,we were constantly changing our minds and of cos the bikes as well. The motorcross bike was dashing!! I liked the one in red & black!! but it was only 125cc. The crusier bike was even better!!! Hehehhe. & watmore it was 150cc,black,bold & simply beautiful!!! So in the end, we brought home the cruiser bike!! *muacks* I couldnt wait to lay my hands on the bike as well. *smirks* I sat on the bike & rode it once. Power!

My bro's the happiest freak on earth. He got his bike. He sat for his bike theory & practical tests. & Guess what? He passed!! Wahhhahaha. He's been riding my dad's bike without license for weeks & now he's a free man!!! He can ride anywhere he wants now!!! He's getting his license in 2 days time. Lucky balls!! He's quite a rider. A hell-rider I must say. One feels an aderaline rush at the speed he's riding.

4thly---> I think my brother's got a crush on my friend's sister. She's a pretty sporty chick!! Tall & pretty!! I like teasing both of them.Hehehe.& now it seems like my brother has developed some liking towards her. i tell u both of them r hilarious. Their actions..The way they interact in front of each other. He always tells me all the juicy news!

5thly----> All my bags r packed. My suitcase's bulging!! It's heavy. I'm left with toiletries shopping!! Recently,i bought 3 tubes of "FAIR & LOVELY" cream at Uma sister's shop. *it's a fairness cream as well as moisturing cream.I'm getting results frm applying that! Serious balls!! My skin's better now. Less breakouts & more fairer. kekeke. Oh well,Uma sister asked me whether i'm leaving soon.I was shocked cos i didnt tell her anything abt my china studies.

"Yeap."--->me
"Where to?"---> Uma sis
"China.."-->me.
"Ahhhh,study doctor?"--->Uma sis.
"Yea."--->me
"What did u study when u were therein s'pore?"---->Uma sis
"Medical tech,sth to do with lab stuff"----->me

More chating...

Geez,she seemed quite surprised that i'll be studying medicine. Well,everyone is. I guess i look stupid. ~Bleargh.

6thly,There I was walking down the roads of my neighbourhood with my brother when....BAAAAA....I saw a familar face walking opposite me.

My mind was racing. "Think rada!!! Who's this??"

Baammm!!! I approached him---> "U r prakash right?"----->exaggerated gestures at the same time trying to incultivate a cool banana attitude.

The poor guy was stunned!!! *freezed on the spot* He looked at me with his arched eyebrows & raised his finger--->"U r?"

"Radha!!!!"---->I extended my hand to him,flashing a smile.

"Oh my god,U look so different!!!"---->him.

Well,we shook hands and started chatting for a while & went our separate ways. Fate's really a strange thing. We kinda know each other since we used to live in the same camp in S'pore. *well,we both knew each other existed. He used to be my primary sch mate. We used to talk* We lost contact & saw each other less. Recently, he went to switzerland to study hotel management. *i knew this only when he messaged me on friendster* We used to contact each other through friendster. Now, he was back to Nepal for holidays.

7thly, I had an invitation to go clubbing with this guy friend of mine. He's my friend as well as brother. There was a dance party at black pearl at yak & yeti hotel. This club's like "China Black" in S'pore. But in the end,I couldnt make it due to other important stuffs.

8thly----> We had a girls day out. My "sistas" & aunt & me, we were all clad in saris and other casual clothes. Had a great time =) I had fun time dressing up my conservative auntie into a funky dunky aunt. I made her wear my clothes. Heh! She happens to be the same size as me. Kekeke.

Lastly,The most anticipated day of all..."The Festival Of Colours,HOLI". *MUAHHAHAHAH* It was such a fantastic day!!! On this day, people celebrate the festival by applying the various mixed colours to each other. Water balloons & spray guns are a common sight. I had my "Gunyo cholo" day on the same day as well whereby my parents give me a traditional blouse,sari like clothes & other accessories. After this procedure, i can finally get married. Tradition.*shrugs*

Anyways,My cute neighbour joined us for the festive season "HOLI" despite having an exam paper the every next day. *he's so cuteee...* We prepared about 200 balloons filled with water. & THennn...it started. Kekeke. We bombed our neighbours & the surrounding peeps. Lolx.We had great fun. This continued on for hours & we soon call it a day.

But.....a few hours later, my relative's bro-in-law,J turned up with a group of guys at my gate----->Somehow,I really think J has a crush on me. Really. He's the cute guy who has the same name as my dad & whom i thought he was younger than i was.He's giving me all those signs. Maybe i could be wrong. Geez...Back to the incident...As soon as my bro opened the gates, they attacked my brother with colours. Poor brother. His hair & face was smeared with all yellow & red colours. J came & rushed towards me & threw the colours at my hair as i covered my face. I ran off to get the colours to counter attack him. But i was no match for him. He grabbed me frm behind & smeared the colours all over my face. Hurff! At least i managed to stuff some colours in his mouth! Yesh!!! He was asking me whether i was angry with him for what he's done. Ahahaha. His friends!!! One of the guys was flirting with me!!! Geez...Anyways,the fun was over.

Wait a min. Did i mention that i met J at cyber shop recently? He recently got his bike license & he's planning to get the same bike as my cutie neighbour. I asked him whether he wanted to buy my friend's bike which is better. ---> Yeap,My friend's going UK & so he's selling his bike off* That same night,i dreamt about him. Weird dream. I cant exactly remember what went on. But man,was it one hell of a dream.----->No fantasy, no sexual stuff going on la...

Surprisely, there he was,turning up on HOLI & smearing colours on my face.

All the cute guys r in Nepal!!!! It's hard not to have crushes or even rush into a relationship. Maybe Two-timing? or better still 3-timing? Hahaha.
No worries---> I would never do that! On top of that,they own funky bikes.Hahaha*

Did i mention that the avian flu's in India? Yea,that means that it could soon be in Nepal as well. The poultry sector's declining really badly. My family has been eating pork,mutton. ME? I've been eating eggs. kekeke. I wruff eggs. I wruff food!!! I'm such a glutton. I'm growing fat!!! Help!! Set!! I'm gonna go on a diet soon. *Yea right!*

AhhhhhHHHhhh, did i TELL u guys that my life's been so colourful ever since I'm SINGLE? Lolx. I'm serious. Suddenly, I have hoards of emails,fan mails,requests from guys from all over!!! Suddenly,i'm the honey that's attracting the bees & the birds. OOpps. That sounds wrong. Ahahaha. I gotta share some of my interesting accounts.

Most of the guys r Nepalese who's overseas mostly frm UK. One's dying to chat with me. Been bugging me to arrange time & date to chat with him. One wants to sing me a song. One had a problem with my profile. He literally scrutinize every single word i wrote & asked me weird things. One's been flooding my Friendster's testimonial section.There's this guy frm S'pore who claims to be a bad arse who's been to the prison recently and he's only 18!!! I asked him to stay out of trouble & grow up! All those shits. Hilarious.

Cassie!!! I'm dying to meet the shaunie guy!!! Hahaha----> Hope i have a chance to meet him someday. Lolx. I'm a hungry tiger mimi on the loose.----> What i mean is I'm all set for the flirting game but no serious commitment! Cassie mimi,I've yet to receive ur letter man! $#@$#@ the postal system in Nepal. I've got a feeling that all those small things that u sent me r missing frm ur letter. I'll check my PO box soon.Again!!

Yo Hamster girl!!! I've got Your GMAIL!!! Thank u lei dear. Wish u all the best in ur endevours. How's work as cardiac technician? How's ur bf? Stay cute alrite?

I miss dancing and having fun with u guys man!!! I miss the clubbing part with cassie,hamster girl,kodok,adel. Yeap, I go there to drink and dance my FAT arse off. ~Woohoooo. I can still remember Cassie getting high after clubbing and upon reaching home,she bathed & commented that her panty reeks of cigaratte smell. I was horrified at that instance!! I mean who on earth would sniff one's panty? But anyways,I did the same thing.and guess what???? SHE WAS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!! Lolx. The very next day,hamster girl,dok & me were talking & we came to the topic of cassie being high & commenting on her smoky panty. Hamster girl & I sniffed our panties after cassie's weird claim that night. HAHA. Hilarious.I guess they were right to say that drunk man always tells the truth in his/her stupour.

Ahhhh,did i tell u guys that there has been a buddhist youngster who's been mediating for 10mths already under a banyan tree? He hasnt eaten in these 10mths!!! People & buddhists prists lamas have stayed there ever since, some to keep an eye to whether he eats anything, any foul play He's only 16 if i'm nt wrong. He's a cutie who melts one's heart instantly. He wears a simple robe,has long shabby hair,long nails,a face to die for,a face that's so serene,fair,a symbol of purity.

Anyways, he claimed to get a calling frm the buddha and told his mum about it & went off to the forest to search for a place to mediate. So there he found it,a perfect place to mediate. A huge banyan tree that had a sound perfect shelter built in! & Upon closer examination,one can find statues of other hindu deities entwined up in the banyan tree. There was a huge hoo-ha & people came to visit him. Noise was increasing every single day. Reporters cashed in on this news & made CDs for profits. He became an attraction. An instant HIT! Some vistors who stayed through the night claimed that the "buddha boy" emits a powerful fire that makes him glow.He has already told people from the start that they cant call him god. He claims only to be a "messenger". But now he's gone. He's disappeared all of a sudden.

Amazing story ay?? It's all true. How could anyone survive without eating & drinking for 10mths?? PLus he's in a perfect health & shape. Maybe he's gone off to search for another place where there's no people? no noise? away frm all those nasty paparazzis? Some day..he'll return.Everyone says that.

I designed a notebook that i'm gonna take with me to china. Compact & Funky!

I'm thinking of dying my hair black! YEAP! JET BLACK! What do u think guys? Write me ur comments on this ay?

Damn,i'm still having stomachaches!!! Chronic case man! ~bleargh.

One guy asked me to model for some footwear. The Other told me to consider modelling. He said I had nice features. Lolx. Can u believe that? Me a model? I told him i'm too fat to be a model. At least on the ramp. Maybe a face model? MAGAZINES? Ha-ha. Nope! Cant do. One needs an exotic face or pretty face. But hey, I really wanna be a music video model for the Nepal rappers/Hip hoppers! I WANNA BE A HIP HOP CANDY for those Nepal rappers *winks* Yeap, I wruff some of the groups. Damn good stuffs! Ha-ha!

Kodok,hope u r having a blast at brissy!! Dun forget me ah!!!

Pakcik, I'm a-n-t-i-c-i-pa-t-i-n-g Ur letter okies? I wruffed ur small mini notes!!! =)

Kali, where art thou? Ta kata cha nwadays?

Darn,i gotta brush up on my nepali as well as chinese/mandarin. Yeap, i need both languages! & i Sux at both! I need to take chinese language for a year and pass it!

I gotta go now. Gonna watch "Kausuti zindakay kyi"---->Hindi melodrama =p

Signing off,
rada muffin

p/s: Hahn,i'll be ur friend no matter what. Cheer up okie? Be positive pls?

2006-03-02T03:59:00.000-08:00

=hmmmmmmm=

it took me so many freaking days to actually visit the cyber com shop and check all my stuff...jeez..i'm turning into a slug poke fest..a fat & lazy person...

oh well,here the update on what happened during the past few weeks...

Number 1:
two of my relatives went to dubai to work..yea,employment..it's soooo hard to find a decent job here in nepal...*faints*

Number 2: rmbr the british army personnel guy? yea,he got married to some gal that's 2 years younger than me..i heard frm my "sis" tat the girl's pretty and has just finished her ISC which is equivalent to 10+2 (a-levels) hoooray!! his wedding took place a few days ago at shivamargratri..(a hindu festival for shiva).

Number 3: well,i got the confirmation letter frm the chinese university!! hooray!! once again..hehehe...everything's under process now...

Number 4: my dad went for a job interview, peacekeeper at various turmoil places in the world..brrrr...

hmmm...i just received an email frm hahn..yesh him!!! and guess what he wrote?

"wow,u seemed to erase me completely frm ur mind..havnt heard frm u in a long while..didnt get any emails frm u "

my 1st initially reaction was ...."WHAT THE FUCK!!!!"...Then of cos,i simmered down..what's the point of being a beeyatch to him..i wrote him in the most polite manner as i could possibly can with a pinch of sarcasim of cos. i'm sorry!! i could help it..heh!

Hmmm,money matters..how i hate it..Arghhh...My dad has been forking out money to send my relative abroad to work. ~sigh. a lot of money's involved man. The most infuriating thing's that most of them (those rats!!!),they dun know how to return the damn money that they've borrowed frm my daddy...

i need around 5 lacs during my 1st year in china. oh yea,it's now hmmm...98% confirmed that i'll be going china. it's left with the visa processing shit...

My puppy,tommy finally know's how to climb stairs!! yea! but arrrrr,it fell down frm quite a height and is now limping. Poor thing. I love that thing to bits.

My family!! hmmm,my youngest bro had a huge freaking quarrel with my daddy and mummy. it was scary man. emotionally tear jerking shit. he definettely got a hard time frm me. My dad has an awfully bad habit of controlling us,the children..tsk tsk. it gets way out of hand at times. He & his hurtful comments.

Kodok's finally in brissy,aussie..ahhahhaa.she's receiving a full time housewife training frm her roomate. kekeke. dok,learn all the things & be a good wifey okies? To wan!!!

cassie,pakcik..i sent u both snail mails..jeez,i'm surprised to what happened with u and adel..what's wrong with del?~sigh...

oh yea,i met one of my "schmate" tat's going china with me! pretty chick man!! she's a tamang girl. goshh...i feel so inferior!! yikes..hehehhehe.....

hmmm...will talk about more stuff the very next time..i'm feeling lazy now..bleagrhhhh..

yours truly,
rada lazy banana

P/s: i went shopping today!! bought an abercromie sweatshirt and pants!! not forgetting burberry's traveller bag! muahahhahha...how i wruff shopping man!!!

2006-02-12T17:00:00.000-08:00

=draining day=

let's see the number of tasks i've accomplished today...

Number one= yesh,i've finally got the answer frm the guy. rmbr da marriage proposal? ya that one. it's finally over. the worst is over. i couldnt sleep the whole night thinking "what if?" but yep,i can set my mind in ease for now. *grins widely*

number 2= i took my tommy pups to the vet. it was under saline. pOOr dear. it must have hurt loads. we have to take it for more vet visits.

hmmm...that's it for now.

oh yea,i've got a fetish for bananas. yesh,i'm going bananas over bananas. kekkee.

i'm so excited over the thoought that i get to go china to further studies. education..now i really know it's value. *tsk tsk* a bit too late but hey it's never too late i guess. =p

getting more moody. fatter. wat's new. oh yea,damn the system in nepal man..they have been practising load shedding (saving electricity)!!! pain in the arse!!! the line gets cut off every now and then.

i've heard that tmr nepal's closed! again. i would love to study in nepal but hey look! the situation's so bad that even sch would get disrupted.

anyway,that's it for now. my left eye's hurting like shit man. swollen. maybe it's the eyeliner. i'm so in love with "the" eye liner now. =P

dah!

2006-02-11T16:50:00.000-08:00

=Dilemma=

This few days have been a disaster. A major one that is. I'm so tensed up.

My china university has been confirmed. Well, about 90%. I'm waiting for the official acceptance letter to be sent over. It'll come by Monday. I'm excited to start school and that to in the field of medicine. It has been my dream to be a doc and also everyone else in my family. However, many docs that have studied in china told me that extra effort is required to be a successful doc in Nepal. A lot of work to be done. The standard and recognition in china isn't top nonce but I figured out that I'd work hard and do my MD in a much more recognized university. I'm much more focused now & I finally realized the importance of attaining good grades. I'm going china partly because of the financial matters. Hmmm, it's much cheaper in china than anywhere else is. If everything's well, I'll fly off end of this month. The destination's from kathmandu to shanghai and then to shangxi.

The Chinese university that I''m going to is named xi'an jiao tong university. It's a fairly reputed university. I can't find any other reputable Chinese unis represented by the agencies here. The total expenses will be amounted to 1 lacs plus the expenses, which would amount to about 4 nepali lacs in the 1st year. The subsequent year would be about 3 lacs. I have to pay the education consultancy their fees of 35000 rupees.

I've had this marriage proposal from this British army personnel guy. I rejected his proposal without meeting him initially due to my quest to study abroad. But later on, out of basic courtesy, I decided to meet him once just to acknowledge his presence. So finally, I met him. There were his “sister” and my relatives too (I met him at my relative’s provision shop). Never had I been placed in such an awkward position. I invited him for a walk as we talked things over. Things got out of hand and…* faints *

He liked me. He came over to place for a talk (of cos, about marriage and stuff). * shivers *

To be frank, he's not bad looking. He's a simple, quiet guy, traditional. Hmmm, I'm like the opposite of him. Loud mouth around people I know, complicated girl. Sooooo…he says "I'll see with my parents and the lama (the lama predicts whether we are compatible or not)".

"Shit!" I thought to myself. I'm praying that everything turn out wrong. I'm still waiting for his reply. To be frank, I like his younger bro. Kidding. Ahahha. But ya, He's cute and playful plus he's a doc. A young one. * winks *

Anyway, my puppy, tommy's really sick. I don't know what's wrong with him. He's been regurgitating out everything it eats and he's really frail. I'll be taking him to the vet. I got a call from one of my cousin. The same guy who got me this puppy. He asked my daddy whether he wanted another puppy for tommy's company. And guess what? I'LL BE EXPECTING ANOTHER NEW PUPPY!!! YAYEE!

Sometimes, I wish I had guts like cassie and brains like kodok. ~sigh. Yesh, I'm trying my best to bring out the best in me. Yes, I really am.

Life!!! Life's really weird. You'll never know what's gonna happen next. I'm feeling vexed out. Marriage? Hmmm, I rather marry someone I know. I rather marry my childhood friend. I seriously think that he can handle me the best. He's tough to others but he treats me really good. Plus he's on par with me in every aspect. He already told me that he'd marry me if he must but not anytime soon yet. Maybe in few years time. But then again, everything may change by then so I'm not placing any hope in that.

Fate. I'll leave it up to fate.

I had my hair straightened! Hehe. Everyone was commenting how silky my hair looked. Kekeke.

Hmmm, that's it for now. Oh yea, I forgot to mention that hey, I finally got an email from hahn after our official separation. =) thanks! And the rest of my mimis,I want a snail mail frm u guys lei. =S

2006-02-06T16:20:00.000-08:00

=break away=

HEY YA!! It's been a long time since I've blogged. I've been busy handling my affairs and also due to plain laziness. Plus my blog site's in a mess. Thank god, mama has gone through all the trouble to find me a new blog skin. & It rocks! I simply wruff that bloggie skin. It suits me.

So what's been up for the past few weeks? I'm no more a sappy, whinny & the BGR troubled girl. Yep, it's over between me & hahn. Finally. It was mutual and both of us are still friends so as to say. Well, come to think of it, I'm glad that it's over. But it's a shame that he doesn't contact me anymore. He was suffering mentally and this relationship was taking a toll on us. I've grown up a teeny weenie bit as I've learnt loads of things in this one relationship. This "one" relationship's gonna take me a long time & it's changed my ideals about certain things especially on the matters of the heart. Suddenly, I thought of this song. It reminds me of how my relationship ended.

Did I hear u right?
Cause I thought u said let's think it over
U have been my life
And I never plan going on without u

I came without a reason
Dun let go what else tonight
Haven't I always loved u?

When I need u
U're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when with u
I'm close to tears
Cause U're only almost here

So what have I learnt from this relationship? Do not take things for granted. Thou shall not be unreasonable, over sensitive & petty. Do not be selfish. Be carefree. Don't be afraid to express yourself. Stand up for yourself. Do not let the other party put you down (degrade you). well, and many more things.

I definitely don't believe in the "one" now. Crap. Bullshit. Hey mooty dearest, we were so wrong!!! Look! Fate played a cruel fate on us, the believers of the "one" & the worshippers of the scared relationship of love. Crushed. That's how I felt. Oh well, I'm opting for arranged marriage now. Seriously. No more BGR stuff.

So let's go on the updates. Wassup with me this week? I've been busy with family issues. There was a period of time whereby I had tons of relatives pouring in my house. It was overwhelming!!! Plus my uncle's finally discharged from the hospital. He's partially paralyzed after a near episode with the fatal stroke. Now, my uncle-grandpop's in hospital due to bone TB. Can u believe it? Well, hospital visits are a regular affair now for me. Ooh, my maternal grandpop's in the house. I love my folks dearly especially my grandparents.

I'm crazy over bikes!!! I'm waiting for my dad to buy my bro to buy a pulsar. It's similar to the honda super four. I'm itching to go for a ride. My dad's bike’s too high for me! Cant wait!!!

Ahahhaha. Something strange always happens to me. I've probably told some of my friends about this matter. Apparently, my parents mentioned that this particular family whom we've known since our stay in singapore wants me as their daughter in law. The uncle and auntie have been making their intentions known since god knows when. I didn't take notice of it until. We visited that family. They happened to be my relatives as well BECAUSE my bro married the uncle's niece. Aunty was lamenting how nice it would be if I could be their daughter in law in front of my parents and everyone else. God!! I swear I could have dropped dead right on the spot. I quickly excused myself politely to e-s-c-a-p-e. (Jeez, I miss watching finding nemo! Anyone wanna mail the vcd over to me? Hehehe). From that day onwards, my parents were talking about the matter. Zillions of thoughts past my mind during those few days. I decided to mail their son. Their son's my childhood friend ( duhx). He's a nice guy. Really nice guy. I had a huge crush on him once. I've lost contact with him for years but recently when he got enlisted in the British army, he mailed me on friendster. Such is fate.

Both of our families were keen on getting us together. I didn't want both of them to have false hopes and dreams about me & him getting together if he wasn’t at all interested. After my failed relationship, I had long decided that I'd be going for arranged marriage so it didn't make a difference if I were to marry him. But I wasn't ready yet and my studies were my main priority. With all that in mind, I mailed him explaining the whole situation and asked him whether he’s willing to marry me in a few years time. I've got a surprising answer from him. He actually thought that I had agreed to his parents and all these were for real and he had to marry me ASAP! It was hilarious. I explained to him again and finally I got his reply. He was willing to marry me but yea, he wasn't ready now yet, as it's been only a year in army for him. But he's sure of what he's gonna say and he knows what he wants. (Now, I've got no idea what he means.) And finally, he says "dun worry, rest assure that your future's safe with me". (Whatever he means by that). How sweet can he be? Lolx.

I'm not gonna think too much & seriously about this. Whatever comes comes. That's my philosophy now. I've long sent my application to one of the unis in china to study medicine. It's a 5-year course. 'm hoping that they give me that golden chance to study. I want this really badly. To study my arse off and be a great doc to finally serve my fellow countrymen back in my country. I've finally realized the importance of education. If he and me are fated to be together, we will. If not, then too bad. Life goes on still.

Few days ago, a guy proposed to me indirectly (through my relative). Apparently, he saw me, love at 1st sight and was eager to get married to me (he refused to get married for 6 years!!! ). He's also a British army personnel but he's serving the army for 6 years. Yeap, he's 27 years old, tall dark and average looking, loads of money, good family. he had already spoken to his parents, his entire family and was persuading my relative to ask me and my parents about the proposal. I guess we were not fated to be together. On those times when he asked my relative to ask me out without me knowing that his intention, I didn't go. I was shocked when my relative brought it up when everything was at a last stage. Such big matter and he informed me only now?? And he expected me to agree and simply marry him? How wrong he was. The guy was a good catch. After all, the wife gets to go to UK and the greencard eventually.

I refused the marriage proposal. I'm not ready for all these yet. So many things that I have to overcome. I'm still recovering from the heartache, the failed relationship. I felt bad, really awful for rejecting him. I didn't even meet him face to face & I didn't even bother to try to find out what kind of a guy he is.

I'm crossing my fingers that everything would turn out fine for me in the future.

I've got a new puppy now. I named it "tommy". Sometimes, I call him "tum tum". He's simply a darling, so adorable. He looks more like a bear than a dog. Hehehe.

I'm growing fatter. Damn the cold weather, man. I feel hungry 24-7. I'm dying to wear tank tops and skirts again!!! My hair's grown longer & straighter. I coloured my hair recently. I'm living a life of a tai tai for now, going to beauty parlour and stuff. It's a short-lived thingy. Kekeke.My skin's becoming much better! I'm itching for bikes & more bike rides. Vrrooom. My hormones raging!!!

Ooh, I've got a cute neighbour. A cutie pie!! He rides a cool bike as well!! Phewhit! I think he's got the hot's for me. Just a woman instinct. Hah! Apparently (damn, I'm using this word too often), he's starting to invite my brothers out for gatherings and sports. He took me off from the road once. Yep, his bike's back seat is raised (u know those mat’s sports bikes in Singapore where the minak's butt would be sticking out??) & jagged high up. Jeez, I was the envy of some girls at that instance. Fun. But he's younger than me.~Bummer~

Anyhoo, anything goes in Nepal man. Like Cassie Mimi mentioned who cares about age.
There's another guy whom I know, brother in law of my relative. I think I've mentioned this story before. He's got the same name as my dad man. I used to call him "bhai" which means younger brother in my language. Initially I thought that he was younger than I was. But I found out through my parents that he's older than I am by few years! He actually persuaded my parents to inform me that he's older than I am. Hilarious cos I've called him "bhai" for over a month & he didn't correct me. So why the change now? Male ego I suppose? So then, after the correction was done and I finally called him "dhai" now, he became more daring. When I used to call him "bhai" he was a timid guy. Lolx. Well now, he teases me on some things and he even invites me to go with him for his driving lesson. He's cute looking, a gentleman. He even comes to my house for card games every now and then.

Cassie, the guys here in Nepal's hot + cool. Your cup of tea. +winks +

Hmmm, situation's in my country's worsening after the ending of the cease-fire by the Maoists. There's a civil war going on in my country. It's terrible, horrible. Innocent people are dying everywhere. Where's the humanity? Everyone's hungry for power. Once the country symbolizing peace and tranquillity, it's now in rubbles of mess, terror, and panic. This whole week, motor vehicles are not permitted to take the streets. Nepal's closed for a week due to feared possibility that the Maoist's are planning major attacks on the designated places. Scary.

What's happening? What's going on in the world?

I'm concentrating on music, dance to express my frustration, anguish. Dance my way. If I had a chance, I would take up, learn dancing. Hip hop, Latin, Nepali, u name it.

Hey mimis!! I think bulu's attached to WILI man!! Damn. Why do I say this? Each time, she logs in to MSN. It's wili who chats to me. Why the hell is he using bulu's account? (I was wondering…until ya, it struck me that those two are attached!). Way to go bulu!!!

Ooh, Mimis. Do u guys remember that maritime dude, the cool guru Indian guy that we used to associate him with fudge? Aishya's friend?? His name's raj. Ya, he msged me recently on friendster. I asked him whether he had a crush on TIMAH as he always seemed to be staring at her whenever he can. And guess what? he replied that one of his friend told him that timah finds him cute. That's why the staring/stalking game. Hilarious.

Welll, recently, I found that serene (my hamster gal homie) emails me through gmail. No wonder there wasn't any mails from you in my other accounts. * faints * I'm sorry dear. I've already long ago sent u an email back! yayee! All the best in your relationship okie? update me on things ya? Muacks.

Hey mimis. I miss u guys. Kali maya. Dok. Adel. Hamster gal + rest. My dearest mama. Funky dunky private pakcik. (* waves * I'm proud of you darling!!! & I read your letter already.) And the oh-so-lovely Cassie darling.

I suddenly thought of sweet Esther. She wanted to study traditional medicine in china as well right?

I've been eating loads of chocolates.

I went through the neoprints that I took while in Singapore. I really miss my friends. I miss them dearly. Those times we shared. Thanks guys. * muacks *

I realized that I took loads of pictures with hahn.

I realized that I've suddenly had hoards of people wanting to befriend me.

But I'm leading a Lonely life. Loneliness for now. I've got it bad. Valentine’s day coming. F**k it. (Pardon my language). I simply dread that day. I never had a single valentine. Pathetic. Ya.

I'm listening to "lovers and friends" by usher and ludacris. Great attachment to that song.

I've had 2 cups of coffee. I cant get to sleep. But I shall stop here. This is by far the longest entry ever.

Signing out.
Radha Lama

P/s: I found out that it's more specific to be called Radha Lama than Radha Gurung. Apparently, there are different categories of Gurung.

2005-12-26T02:00:00.000-08:00

=ponders=

merry x’mas everyone!!!! The festive season’s here & I’m not able to enjoy the festive season in singapore. The grand decorations, the bright lights & the joyful crowd!!! Oh well, it’s cold in Nepal (it’s winter season down here!) & I’ll be travelling to some place in Nepal where there’s gonna be snow!! ~woohooo. Finally I’m gonna play with real-life snow!! Kekeke.

I’ve been thinking of u dear & there’s no sign of u. I know I got to understand you, our situation but at times when I miss u so much, when the intensity’s that great, I wish you would call at that very moment. I’ve been thinking of our relationship and how we are getting by. Most people would say that obviously the prospects are not good. I’m trying not to think too much. I’m cool for now. I guess after what you said to me, it made me understand & realize the beauty of the whole thing. If our love’s meant to be, then it will, no matter what. All the obstacles & barriers will be eventually overcome no matter how difficulty it may be. So all I got do now’s to stay positive and not to get my mind poison with most of the deadly sins. I’m handling everything well for now.

My mum’s so obsessed in getting me married to a gurkha british army guy. Every now and then, she always gets to the same topic. I guess she’s feeling the pressure. Most of my aunties’s daughters are getting married. Hahaha. If you guys are wondering what’s my take on this, I’m not keen on marrying any british army guy, thank you. But if my maw2x wants to marry me then I’m agreeable! Ahahaha. Anyhoo, I want to be able to stand on my two feet & support my parents first. =)

I’m worried about my dad. My cute dad has a mild case of hypertension. ~sigh. He’s forever hungry balls!! Always looking for food. He eats his lunch at 9am, tea time at 2pm & dinner at 7pm!! In between, he eats wee bit of snacks. But I got to give credit to him for cutting down on fatty & unhealthy food. He’s cutting down on meat (rarely eats food) & eats lots vegetables. Milk is essential in diet of my family. We got to drink fresh milk in the morning & sometimes at night.

My friends visited me yesterday. We had lost contact with each other for a year. Boy, they were scared of my dog. Anyway, we chatted & they left.

I’ll be going to colour by hair! It needs to be revitalise also. ~bleargh. I’ve not really taken care of my hair so it’s not in a prime condition. My hair’s getting longer balls!!! Kekeke. For that I’m happy. It’s always been my dream to have long hair!! & of cos a body like jessica alba!! Right cassie? Ahahha. Oh yesh, cassie, I received your snail mail! Thank u so much. I wruff your anjudi skater boy!! Totally melted my heart & the misadventure of adel tickled my stomach. I’m envious that you guys are having fun there. I want to be present there. Hurff* keep updated me with emails or mails alritey??

Oohhh..the other day when I was at the cyber café typing away (it’s under small renovation), a huge thud shattered the silence. All the peeps in the café looked around and saw a huge door piled on a girl. The poor girl was wailing away with pain. Apparently, the door wasn’t intact & was leaned against the wall, so while transferring some cables, the cables got entangled at the edge of the door. The workers forced & ripped off the cables in an attempt to free the cables & the door fell like a timber straight in front of an open cabin where the girl was using the PC. Jeez, ouch! That must have hurt like shit. *tsk tsk * the negligence of the workers & the owners there. I was preety shaken up.

Half of my guests have left already. Last few days, I had a totally of 15 of my people living in my house. Phew. I’m glad that they left for now. A lot of expenses. I had a panic attack as lots of guests=more dishes to clean=more work=more expenses. My uncle’s still in hospital. He’s feeling better with physiotherapy & medicine. They found a slight frontal lobe infraction in the CT scan. He’s a retiree of the Nepal police, a supertendient & he’s got 2 wives balls!! Tsk tsk. What’s with man and their collection of brides!? Disgusting!!! Anyway, he long left or should I say deserted his first wife to leave with the second wife. Now his second wife’s gone to overseas to earn some dough & his first wife’s back in her bid to nurse him back to health. Complicated affair. I realise that you cant really blame a man for taking 2 wives. If the wife’s petty+unreasonable+unbearable 24-7, then the husband would pretty much be in anguish & think of the unthinkable.
My bloody dog’s run away. He’s gone for more than 2 hours. ~sigh. He’s not street wise & I’m worried sick. What if he’s been hit by a truck or car!

Hmmm, dearest friends, thank you for your snail mails ah. I’m referring to those who sent me emails/snail mails. Keep updated me okie? I’ll reply you asap. Oh yea, did I mention that ahhahaa it takes about 15-20 days for a letter to reach from singapore to nepal. Very slow lei! & it’s quite expensive in my country. I don’t know why also. Ahahaha.

Oh well, that’s it for now. Moot, did you not know that I was gone to nepal? Ahahhaa. Kali, if you have pictures that you want me to modify, then I’ll do it for you la. Okie? must send me a gift okie? billabong products okie!! Cant wait for you to take up parttime job. kekeke. Update me when as you get that desired haircut of yours okie? send me pictures?

Adel + dok, miss you guys still. Yesterday night, “big fish” was showing at HBO channel. It got me reminded of timah, the tikus. Wonder how’s she’s doing. The movie’s a must watch movie, short sweet & captivating story line. It’s emotional as well. Cassie, “ren” hor, still must study hard & complete your course! ~i want a sexy mama teacher with a fierce attitude. yOu'’l always be my cheena mimi!! Muahaha.

Dearest, you’ll always be in my heart.

P/s: I’m addicted to peanuts & bananas man! Kekeke. Yummy! There’s nice café down in new road (the equalivant of orchard road) called “jeans café”. They have a bar up & the ambiance’s nice. When the clock hits 5, that’s when the night bazaar starts. Fun.

mini p/s: this is written on the 25th december!

2005-12-24T01:10:00.000-08:00

=humph=

let’s see…what am I been doing nowadays? ~sigh..i’ve been busy with family matters. Bleargh. One of my uncle’s down with paralysis. He nearly had a close encounter with stroke. Yesh, he had a case of hypertension. I just realised that my family’s side has a history of hypertension. Shivers..i’m so worried about my dad. He’s also got a moderate case of hypertension & he likes to eat a lot. He eats anything edible nothing’s not delicious for him. kekeke. When we (the kids) tell him off when he eats over his limit. He’ll pretend to execrise like a energiser bunny!! Lolx. It’ll be an such a hilarious right each time. muahahhaa.

One of my other uncle’s son has a bad case of eye squint (cross-eyed) thus he’s here for the eye operation to correct the position of the eyes. He’s such a adorable kid with that nasal voice,cute yet irritating. Hehehe. He’s only 6 years old, round & very fair with a pair of rosy cheeks. Our guests been pouring in since 2 weeks ago. Expenses been running high. Super high! We eat mutton most of the time here in Nepal. & now poutlry meat’s price has increased within few days. Hmmm,I heard that there’s a bird flu epidemic in south east asia. If that’s the case, will poultry meat be expensive or flirthy cheap? ~hmmm~

Anyhoo, regarding my school, I’ve no idea what’s gonna happen. I’ve currently been researching on the Unis in UK that’s feasible for me. My relative lives in the area of hampshire,farnborough at fernhill road. I’m guessing it’s kinda ulu place I think. kekekkee. So far 2 of the Unis that I was rooting for are at least a 100 miles away from where my relative’s staying. Brrrrrr…SO FAR!!

Hmmm,I’m wasting my time here in Nepal overall. I’m thinking of taking up some job here in Nepal. Maybe as a secondary sch teacher? Muahahhaa. But sadly most of the companies are looking for long term stayers.

My youngest brother’s finally back to Nepal of cos from singapore. So I can say that my whole family’s reunited. Yep =) he’s addicted to a nepali crusine called “MOMO”. It’s like dumplings,meat wrapped with thin covering of flour. He’s gotta have at least 2 plates of it if we ever go out. He’s brought so much fun in our lives ( me+parents). We play electric guitar & have sing alongs. Lolx. We even showed our famous tamil dance (yesh, the anti-gravity dance) to everyone else in the family. they were laughing their heads off. Muahahahhaa. This brother of mine’s particularly close to me although we fight a lot. Kekeke. He’s of similar temper & character like me. The older one’s subtle & quieter & he’s MARRIED!! Yep, he got married some 6 mths ago & he’s only 19. Poor me, I guess I wont be married till god knows when.

Hey maw2x, I miss u a lot. By the way, I’ve sent letters to cassie cheena mama, lilian meow meow & of cos to my hubby!!! The rest of the peeps, dun worry. I’ll write to you soon when I have time. And yesh,Merry Christmas to you all!! Hey maw2x,I wruff u dear. Read my letter okie? Kekkee.

It’s damn freaking expensive to send letters to overseas what more parcels which cost a bomb.I’ve to spend at least a S$1 on each letter sent overseas. I promise to send u guys parcels okie? I’m pressed for time for now. Dearest maw2x, I’ll send u a belated gift. Sorry okie? Kekeke. =)

There’s a wide spread of Hep A & B cases in Nepal, not forgeting AIDS!!! Hehehe. They are now promoting condoms for safe use & commercials of it runs every now & then. There are cute guys in Nepal (yesh, cassie mama).and it seems that it’s every girl’s ambition to hook up with a british army guy. ~bleargh. Why is that so? A sense of security?

I always feel that it’s better to stand on your two feet before you settle down. Yep. If your husband leaves you for some reason, you can always get back your life as you wont be dependent on anyone! Yea! Hehehe.
I’m becoming a classic makcik man! Down here in nepal, it’s important to bargain at all cost! Yesh! Ahahhaa. Where every you might be, most of the places, you gotta bargain. I’m learning the ropes of bargaining efficently! Lolx. & and…I’m nagging at my brothers a lot.

Ooohh, I love to eat nepal version of “kacang putah?”. Yummy & spicy!! You gotta buy off frm the roads hence it’s a wee bit unhygenic. Kekeke. And they have the “pani puri” where spicy potatoes are added to a “naan” kinda bread & eventually gets filled up with a sour water for the final touch! Ahhahaa.

My dog’s finally recovered from flu. Yesh, it had a bad case of dog flu & poor bodthu (my doggie’s name), it was dripping with thick yellow nasal discharge & coughing badly. ~yucks. But it’s okie now after feeding it medicine mixed with liver. He’s such a darling. Ahahhaa. Always love playing with it.

Oh well, that’s it for now.

P/s: dearest, I’ve yet to receive letter frm you. Boohoo. And pakcik + mama, miss u guys!! Kodok,did u receive my letter? =)

2005-12-13T04:11:00.000-08:00

=dreams & hopes shattered into zillion of pieces=

wat’s become of me & my life? why are u always on my mind? ~god. I wish I had some answers for my helpless plight. I’m not trying to mess with u or your life dear. It’s expensive to make calls overseas here!! Double expensive!! My parents are already upset over the bill that I chalked up when I called u at your M1 number. My dad’s locked the phone with codes ever since then! And there you are not believing me, thinking that I’m having it real easy. I used up my top up card to call you. ~sigh. I’m sorry I cant call you as much as I would love too. I’m worse off than you. I’ve got no source of income.

Is it my fault?
I’m hopelessly in love with hahn & I wanna spend the rest of my freaking life with him. I’m serious! I’ve been thinking about it since day1 of our relationship. Am I stupid? Am I silly? Jeez,I really don’t know. I just want to complete my education hopefully in UK & earn some money, pay back my dad a lump sum, earn money for myself and eventually settle down. What’s wrong with that? I’m willing to wait for him as long as it takes. However on one condition. I always think that if he’s 100% set on ending up with me, settling down with me, working out no matter what it takes, then what’s 5 or 6 years for me? I can wait a lifetime to enjoy a blissful life with him later. But I’m worried that his love & feelings for me will diminish slowly. And when that happens, it spells danger in our relationship. ~sigh. We’ll be wasting each other’s time in the end.

So that day, I asked hahn whther he’s still a 100% in our relationship and he replied he’s ¾. That’s it. Bad news. The other day, I dreamt that he had a thing going on with this petite malay girl even though he was still with me. When I paid him a surprise visit, I caught him red handed & he accused me of being heartless when I requested for a breakup at that instant. He was denying the affair between him & that girl. But in the end, he admitted to it & even had the cheek to hold that girl in his arms. It was one hell of a nightmare. I couldn’t sleep after that & was sobbing away.

I guess been dreaming away. I guess you are right. I guess I havent seen the real world. You know something dear? I’ve always believed in you, I’ve always had more confidence in you more than in myself. You questioned my love for you when you spoke about the real world. What if you end up a road sweeper? What if?

I’ve already decided that if you are serious about me wholeheartedly, what about me? I’m already set on spending my life with you. no! I’m not trying to give you additional stress and shit. I don’t have that intention. I swear. You don’t have to feel obliged to stay on. Serious. If you wanna leave, just leave. I’ll deal with it no matter what. Just don’t waste my time & yours if your love for me/ interest in our relationship’s decreasing. Don’t kill me softly. I’ll never be able to deal with it. I rather you tell me soon.

I was extremely disappointed when you talked about what Ifs and the real world and a lot more. What happened to our love, what happened to the plans to stay together for as long as it takes? Now you talk about what Ifs!!!! WHY DIDN’T YOU THINK ABT IT EARLIER? Now you are telling me that this’d not a poly love story. I have to open up to the real world? That we are very far apart? If I could right,I would have give you a tight slap across your bloody face. You broke every ounce of hope & dreams I had once again!! 2 times!!! U made me a lifeless corpse.

Now then u realize all these.. really hate you. you know that? no, not hate. I cant even coin the right phrase or word for what I was feeling at that instance. What were you thinking before? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING WHEN I WAS THIKINING OF THE WHAT Ifs??? I asked for a breakup when I was still in Singapore right? I’ve long realized that it would be hard to maintain a long term relationship. I’ve always been thinking for you. I didn’t want you to have extra stress on your head with fonbills & lack of concentration in your studies. I was thinking all those when I was still in singapore. That’s why the break up!!! But did you fail to see that side? You told me that we can work it out together & many more stories. You assured me, wanted me back. Why? Why now do you realise it? WHY NOW???!!!!! I was worried that what if you back out like you did the 1st time round when you ditched me because you couldn’t handle extra stress from me apart from your studies.

I have kind of expected all these shit from you. my fault. Why wasn’t I strong enough to leave you? why do I love you that much? You have hurt me, betrayed me. You have no idea how much fucking hurt you gave me. To think that you doubted my love & loyalty to you. So what if another better guy can love me the way that you do? I’ve already set my heart on you. why cant you see that? what can I do to convince you? what’s your intention in being insistent in making me see there are other guys that can offer me more? Why? Why? You’ve killed me twice. Really. How much can I cry? I long to talk to you. for that, I’ve to beg my dad to let me use the phone.

You always ask me what do I take you for?? Why am I messing with you? in actual fact, who’s messing with who? Let me ask you. what do you take me for? A standby? Someone to conveniently fall back on? Love machine? Punching bag? Or someone for flinging?

Enough already. I should have done this long time ago. U wanted time? I’ll give you all the time in the world. Never have i loved a person this much. Never have I given this much to a person. Please throw away whatever things that I gave you. keep the tent if you want. I’m grateful that I found you as my boyfriend and a stepping stone for relationship. Enough.

I’m so caught up with my own personal life that I’m ignoring my family. I’ll focus on my family, my studies.

2005-12-13T03:27:00.000-08:00

=Nearly a day away from3rd december(da big day)=

Fucked up!! Yep..Tat’s exactly what I’m feeling…arghhhh!!! Yesh,with a capital “A”! that’what I’m feeling…Hmmm,and the reasons for feeling all these..Drum rolls….

1stly,I dunnoe why I’m falling ill! 2 days ago, in the middle of the night, I nearly vomitted my guts out..I’m serious man! I was taken by surprise. My poor parents freaked out totally. From that day onwards, I was banned from doing housework (well,my family members thought that it was maybe due to handling of water & da extremely cold weather. Mind you, the average temperature in the city area’s around 7 degrees celcius!) My hands and feet never stays warm. I’m a warm climate creature! Help!! I’m so suffering here in nepal because of the cold weather. Yea,been falling ill.Vommiting and diaherra as always(my friends must be saying what’s new for the diaherra part..ahahhaha). oh well,I went to the cybercafe to check my emails and stuff & guess what? Yep, maw2x was online. He nudged me & said hi. More words from him. There I was hmmm busy logging in to my respective websites. He stated that I was so not enthuin replying. ~sigh..okie..

then came the webcam. Bloody hell, it was a bad quality webcam so yep the viewing window wasn’t displayed all to nice. But yep, he didn’t mind. More conversation between us and then BAM! He told me that he cant wait to own a gsxr. And I replied that I’m dying to ride on a bike. A super bike that is. And the next thing I know it. His reply was “yea,sure.your bf’s a loser and he rides lame bikes”. I was so pissed. God! Hell harth no fury like a woman scorned. I immediately cancelled the viewing of the webcam with him. Come on, I’ve been ill for so bloodly long and when finally I’m feeling better and can barely walk, I come out with the main intention to send him sms via starhub websms and he throws me this shitty fucking comments? Arghhhh!! Oohhh,that was not enough. I was simmering down when he had to comment on my actions.

“even when we are apart, you are still doing this, tantrums & all that. I don’t have to deal with this for we are long distance. For that I’m glad ( he meant he’s glad for the fact that we are long distance)” Imagine my displeasure man!! In what way would I interpret this piece of shitty sentences? So you are actually thankful that you don’t have to deal with me and my tantrums ah? And I’m still the same with that fucking tantrums of mine la? Just imagine who triggered that fucking frustrated side of me!! You!!

After all that I’ve gone through. I fought to keep this relationship on, argued & convinced my relatives that you are for me. ~sigh. I argued with my dad ( I love him more than anything ). Yea sure, call me stupid and tell me that why was there a need to do that & that you didn’t force/tell me to do that. I cant imagine what I’ve gone through with you. I gave you my all but no I don’t think that you ever knew that. for you it always seemed that the world revolved around me and I was the fucking nasty and unreasonable bitch as always & ever. When I wanted to leave you, what happened? Why did I wanna leave you? All because you always implied and made me feel that I’m making your life hell. So why not set you free?

Don’t fucking think that it’s easy for me okie? I’m not like your fucking exs!! Jeez! If I was a fucking heartless bitch I would have cheated on you zillion of times, played you & break your ever ounce of ego & pride. Though I might look modernized, I’m still a conservative at heart. I still hold on to my values. That’s to respect my elders and love my beloved. I always adored you, put you in that sacred position of a husband respected you. Hey, my temper’s atrocious. I can show u hell if I could. But I always controlled except for the times when you really pushed me to my limits. Let me ask you. For a lady who loves you this much, when you go too far at times, I feel that my love’s for u is a mistake.

Come to think of it. I’m at fault most of the times. I’m possessive. Super!! I wasn’t like this at all but I guess I really love you. I always tell you that small things matter to me rather than big ones. Yep, you telling me things, u showing care & concern for me in small lil ways. When you fail to do that after few remainders, it gets frustrated. Thinking of those times (bad ones & good ones), my heart would be filled with mixed emotions.

It’s been a bad time for me. All of you must be thinking that I’m enjoying life here. I’m getting stressed here. Sure, I’m partly having holiday not having to work or study at the moment. I’ve been stressed out to as how to go overseas to study. I need a windfall man! My dad’s waiting to get enlisted in the security line in afghan or iraq. If that happens, then money wont be an issue anymore. If not, we have to sell one of the houses. That can fetch quite a sum, enough for the tution fees. Thank god that I have a relative leaving in farnborough,UK. Hence, food and lodging expenses are mimized. Oh well, we’ll see how.

Hmmm, let’s divert back to my relationship. So following that comment he made, I was so angry that I asked for a breakup. Yesh, he on the other side was asking for my confirmation. Jeez. Ya, go! That was what I said. Off he went ( offline). Well, this had to happen 3 days before his birthday. I wanted to share with him some good news ( one of it being my married cousin in s’pore has given birth! She gave birth a mth earlier. I was so excited. I miss my mimi no1 & now I have mimi no 2! ). Today’s the 2nd november & still no phone call from him. You know what I’m thinking? He must be coping really good. And “me,us being together for 1 yrs +”’s taken lightly by him in order to forget easily? Only God knows what he’s going through. On my part, after I got home( I left the café immediately after sending him few smses), I was thinking of what I’ve done. It’s true that sometimes I shoot my mouth without thinking of the consequnces. But hey, when I’m angry, when I’m pushed to my limits, what’s there to think? I’ll say whatever I like since you in the 1st place should have watch that mouth of yours!

I was “fire-bathing” and I was still thinking about you. I had conversation with my mum & aunt. & I found out that my father’s friends (uncle & auntie) wanted me as their daughter in law for their son. Their son’s my friend but now he’s in the british army. ~sigh. I wanted to spite hahn. I was thinking why not marry my friend? Yesh,I can get heartless when I’ve lost my cool. My heart wouldn’t let me and yea, I couldn’t bring myself to bring my life down. That night was extremely cold. Maybe I should drink some wine to warm myself? Wait a minute! Didn’t I promise not to touch alcoholic drinks? Do I really wanna stoop that low just to get back at him? In the end, I drank warm milk & had dinner.

Right now, I’m coped up in my room, feeling cold & lonely. My dad scolded me for something’s that’s not my fault. My youngest brother who’s due to come to nepal from singapore on the 7th december called up and ranted at me for all the trouble he has to go through to cargo my stuff. Fuck. Was it my fault that I had to leave early? Hahn’s angry with me. No sign of him. I called him up just to hear his voice for maybe one last time? And of course to wish him happy birthday in advance ( called him early because who knows I cant contact him at midnight). He was at rafi’s place and said he would call me later on. Don’t think I’m having easy here. Stress has been piling on non stop. Those relatives of mine would never stop asking money from my dad & that cheek of some of those not to return the money simply infuriates me greatly! They really think that they have money deposited in my dad’s account?!! Relatives staying at my place, being permament residents of the house!! Hello!! U know how much household expenses we gotta fork out?

I’ve decided that I collect my dad’s pension and ya spend it wisely. I was told that other old folks can last their measly pension for a mth but my dad’s pension gets spent within 2 weeks!! What happens then? What else??!! Withdraw money from my dad’s account!!

Frustrating…I guess I’ll forever be one hell of a stress out lady. Maybe I should ride a bike around. Higher risks of getting dead. Anyway, hey..kodok, I’ve sent you a birthday card. It would take a couple of days to reach there.

Maw2x(sorry,the habit’s already embedded in me to call you that), I’ll send you something over. I will! ( I know that you are saying I don’t have to but I want to). Soon. Sorry that it wont arrive exactly on your birthday. I’m not still not well enough to go out. I don’t why I’m getting dizzy spells and headches, leg cramps & a lot more symptoms. I have to shop for my newest niece ( yesh,mimi no 2) some baby clothes & who can forget my mimi no1!

Brrrrr..it’s getting extremeeeeelllyy cold. I have to dig a hole and hibernate inside, balls. Hmmm,oh yea, I forgot to mention that my next door neighbour has a new puppy! It’s soooo cuteeeeeeee! *squeals* I’m getting dark. Oh no, only my hands and feet! I have to sun bathe everyday because it’s sooo cold & the sun is like a welcoming sign in my life!

I just found that my relative, uma sister’s husband’s brother (he has the same name as my dad,”Jit”!) is actually older than me. I always called him “bhai” (younger brother) due to some conclusions that I came up with. HAHAHA! I was at home bathing and planning to join my parents & aunt who were already at the land beside uma’s house. They were breaking up the soil to plant some vegetables. When I reached the place, they were already packing to go home. Jit was there with my dad. Out of the blue,my dad was laughing and told me that Jit’s actually older than me by 2 years so therefore he’s my dhai (older brother). I was shocked. There he was in a concern smirking away. I told my dad “whenever I called him bhai, he didn’t correct me what! Now then, I know of this!).

Later on, my parents told me that Jit actually asked my parents to clarify this matter with me. HAHAHA. He was desperate to let me know that he was older than me. Well,from that day onwards,I called him “dhai”. Maybe it’s a male ego thingy…

I think I’ve been losing weight. I can see bones sticking out from everywhere! Especially the pelvic hip bones! Less bulging tummy as well..~weeeee (I’m only happy about the less bulgy blubber on my tummy). Maybe after all I can have that jessica alba’s body *smirks* hmmmm,but my face stays huge! Hurffff!

Ever since, I came here, I’ve been watching WWE thanks to my dad. A week ago,I watched hmmmm Tuesday taboo( I forgot the title).there was a match between triple H & the nature boy! Ohmigosh!! I had a good time laughing mann! The old nature boy (known to be the dirtiest player in the wrestling history) kicked triple H on his nuts, and this was followed by grabbing of nuts by him! I was laughing hysterically. My brother,sister in law and my dad were there watching. My sister in law being the conservative girl covered her head with her shawl and refused to watch the hilarious episode. My brother was teasing her to watch on whereas my dad (wee bit embarrassed) was giggling. Lolx. Then, there was the diva match where lingere was set as the wear in the match. ~wooohooo. Hot bodies~

I’m addicted to some of nepal’s rapping “band”. Mind you, there are some worthy rappers in nepal as well. A big respect for you guys. I just remembered an episode from recently. This freak guy was asking me to model for some footwear. Brrr. He was asking for my number and all that shit. Thinking that he was some kind of phony weird guy, I refused his offer! Anyhoo, I’ve got chickens man! One of the hens’s starting to lay eggs! So cool ( pardon me, I’ve never encountered anything like this so the reason of my excitement!).i cant wait for the small furry chicks to appear! Muahahahha!

My butt’s aching right now with coldness and stiffness. I’m turning in right now.

Once again, happy birthday love. May all your wishes and dreams be fulfiled!

And to my doll brother! I’m waiting for your arrival with welcoming gifts! (though you can be a pain in the arse most of the times,I still wruff you!)

To my cousin, congratulations on your second mimi! I cant wait to see u guys in may!muacks

To my friends, I miss u guys. I miss the times when we used to hang out together! Those days! Muacks! Forget me not. If not, I’ll poti poti you and feed you to my tiger mimi! Send me snail mails ya!

To mama & pakcik! Where arth thou? Still no progress ah? I’ll die an old maid while waiting for the good news man! ~blearghh

2005-11-20T16:10:00.000-08:00

=hmmmmmmm *ponders* =

hmmmmm,so much has been going on this week...let's see...earlier on,i went to da british council in Nepal (yeshhhhh,yipeee they have a british council here as well) to find out abt unis in of coz UK particularly near da area of hampshire. Damn,i was expecting to meet an ang moh but guess what? ahahhaa..."she" was a nepalese instead. jeez..i was wondering whther to converse in nepali or english..i tried asking her in nepali.."excuse me,hmmm,can u help me da unis in UK under a particular town/city?"..she stared at me..*damn* okie,she didnt really get me..wat da hell..i'll speak in english..so yea,spoke to her in english and in da end,she wasnt really much of a help.

da locals ter (meaning my nepalese pple) were staring at me like one kind. lolx..yea,why not? i look different,dress different,speak diff..anyhoo...da following day,i went to da fortune teller. he's suppose to predict wat's gonna happen to me at this age and tat age....i went with my parents for fun...

so wen i reach ter,i gave him my chee-na. this is a piece of paper that's given to me by da priest wen i'm born. it contains my astrology signs/details. he was damn accurate in telling wat's going on in my life. he even told me tat btw 20-22 years old,i'll be wildful so i have to mind my friends cuz i get influence easily. this's da period of wildfulness so i could lose "sth". Damn balls!!! Cass,he's damn accurate lor!!! i was frightened!!! utterly!!!! den he talked abt my lack of interest in studying..but he said i could do well if i concentrate la..until 24 years of age. He spoke abt employement at da age of 22 plus (maybe it cld be a parttime job or sth). den i'll get married at age of 25 to 27 years old. ahahhaa...he said my husband wld hold a goverment job. lolx...i would have 2 sons & a daughter!!! hmmm,i would buy my 1st land at da age of 31 or 33. my husband wld be ill at da age of hmmm...i forgot!! lolx...my children wld start earning wen i reach 58 years old!! i was laughing my head off...

oh yea,he said i wld do well in overseas rather than my country..i wld die at age of 78 with a blood bron disease. shivers...den came da last part..he said if i marry with someone lower than my caste,i wld have problems. it wont be good. den,i tot of hahn,i'm sorrie to say this but in my country muslim are considered untouchable,lower than my caste. of cos,i dun believe in this & i hate my country for this (caste & racial discrimination).~sigh...

bloody hell...tat news shocked my parents and me..*fuck*...obviously i wld nt give a damn...see what happens ah..if he's suppose to end up wif me,den so be it...yep...

hmmm...let's see...i've been searching for unis in UK...hopefully,i can go ter next year,september...yep....

i've been missing hahn lots...but what to do..to call's very expensive for both of us..at times,i'm comfortable with him not calling me for days. but i know of the cases whereby if u slip into da comfort zone,it cld be good or bad. Good as in ur realtionship wld strengthen. bad as in u wld be drifting apart. i'll see what happens. i'm okie at da moment...yep..

i gotta go now..i gotta cut hair for my cousins! lolx...

erma mama,i miss u sooooo...
cass mimiiii,u tooo....drop me a snail mail ah peeps...

u can snail mail me at

radha gurung
PO BOX 8975
EPC 2884
Kathmadu
Nepal

my hp no's 9779841367646
Love u guys! muacks!!!!!!

i wruff jumbleeeesssssssssss

2005-11-12T17:20:00.000-08:00

=A Trip to Da Village area =

Tat day,my dad reserved a micro van. In total ter were 8 of us. the total reservation of the van plus the road expenses amounted to more than 6000 rupees. Expensive shit man. Anyhoo,i was sick with a capital "S",vomitting my gut out due to whattt??---> yesh,motion sickness. i cant even canoe for an hr our in da sea..i'll break out in cold sweat due to mtion sickness. Da trip lasted for 4hrs...
Finally,we touched da ground. my mum alighted earlier at her town. i was to accompany my dad to his town mainly for the fear tat he might not keep his diet in check. after all,it is the festive season,"brother's day" to be exact. anyhoo,back to da my dad's town.i had to climb hill,cross a roaring river(obviously cross a bridge--->it was quite a distance and i got motion sickness again),crossing of a bigger hill yet. One of my guy cousin went with us. he's my dad's younger bro's son. same age as me,slightly younger than me by few mths. He's cute for a guy. Lolx. BUT dun get me wrong. for us in my culture,he's purely like my real blood brother so no undesirable thoughts or moves! Anyway,i have my hubby already.

Talking abt tat,I'm fasting today for da welfare of my maw2x. Supposedly today's suppose to be a holy day & if u fast & pray,ii'll be fulfilled.

back to da village saga,i was panting like a fat cow,sweating like a pig. But i have to admit tat the rural area (my village) as undergone modernisation. Damn,the place's so clean. Free of poops (humans & cows). I'm serious. Stairs made of stones are created for easy & safe journey. Boy was i glad that the journey was an easy one compared to da last time i came (which was 4 years back).Along da journey up da hill,i drank bottled mineral water. cuz da last time i went,i drank river's water & da village water,i was vomitting badly & having diaherra. i nearly died. So this time round,yep,mineral water was packed for me by my daddy( i'm so spoilt). kekeke.

Within few hours,i arrived my village (my dad's). i've always wondered why da hell do they wanna stay up so high in da hilly region. I guess the soil's fertile & da air is fresh baybeh! ~woohoooo. I was enjoying da village life totally. oh yea,toilets are everywhere man! No worries. Only thing's that u've to noe how to wash ur arse with water! lolx (cass wld die laughing wen she hears this--->cass,i've mastered da art of cleaning my arsee with water. Save da planet man! No papers!! lolx) Anyhooo,staying ter was fun fun fun. my dad has 8 brothers & a sis! ~wooohooo. My grandma's reaching her 90s in 4 yesrs time but she's a power lady.Still strong and she eats a lot man! She's hilarious as well. Wen she drinks wine & da wine gets da best of her,She starts to SING! hehehehhee...I have picked up few songs thanks to her.

The very next day was the festival. Everyone was anticapting for all da brothers and of cos the one and only sis to appear on the holy room. Ter the proceure took place. sORrrie,i mean da rituals. it was such a tear jerking experience. Ter were 8 brothers in total (one of dem didnt come) & da sis! i WAS da offical photographer. Wine & good food was served. gifts were exchanged btw brothers & sis. Joyful experience! Soon after,it was time to gamble (not really gamble but to play cards). it's a norm to play cards on tat day. I was seated by my dad's side and my grandma next to me singing away.

Da very next day,we visited all da houses in da village (all of my relatives). Each house we went served us food. Boy did i eat alot. I tink i gained quite a weight back ter. My mum was to come da very next day and join us.

My mum's side has 5 sisters & A brother so i suppose they had lotsa fun on tat day as well. Anyhoo,my dad was expecting my mum to arrive early the very next day. Tat day arrived and we were waiting for my mum. it was getting dark (it was 3pm in da afternoon but since it's winter season,da day's shorter).my relatives together with my dad & me received da news tat one of the buses dueto come to my area has met with an accident(few days later wen we checked the spot,tat very same bus was perched at da edge,holding by only 1 of it's tire. it nearly went to the river down). The next thing we noe it,all my uncles together with my dad went own da hill,to da bus top area to search for my mum. i was worried sick.

tat bro of mine had gone down earlier to wait for my mum. wen he heard da news tat a bus has met with an accident,he went down to my mum's house to find out. And ter she was,laying in da afternoon sun. She wasnt feeling well (stomach cramps).She packed minimal stuff and returned with my brother. Ter at my dad's side,all of dem met at da bridge & returned together. All of us were so relived.

we stayed at my mum's side for a day and returned to lalitpur the very next day (city area). aS exPected i was vomitting like crazy. Due to moaists & terrorists here,they have a check point at certain places. Da army pple's stationed ter. Damn troublesome man.

wen we finally arrived my place( HOME SWEET HOME),i headed for da bed straight away& slept. IT Was only 2pm in da afternoon.

Next day,we went to the amusement park.Nothing much to see ter unlike s'pore's escape theme park. thE photos above are taken at tat place.

Oh yea,i weighed myself & tada i'm only 45kg. But it's very cold nowadays so i've been eating alot. Yeshh Blubber powerrrr!

i'm missing maw2x alot...INTENSEEEEE! yep...

hmmmm,wat else....yep...ohhh...da nites are pretty with starsssss & brrrr very cold....

i miss my frens as well....i wruff u pple..

oh yea,b4 i forget,i have a post box..so drop me a snail mail.i'll put up da mailing add da next time okie?

*muacks*

P/s: Hubby i miss u dear!!!!! And i wruffff u lotsss!! *muacks* muacks*
cass & other mimis i miss u guys too. hey cass,wat do u want for ur christmas present? *winks*

2005-11-01T17:32:00.000-08:00

=sigh=

i'm so sorrie dear tat i doubted u..i am a paranoid type of gal..overly sensitive who needs assurance frm my man at times...yep..ter was a period of time wemn he was away at his aunt's place for few days..he still sent me an email to inform me tat he'll be gone for few days and his hp batt was flat frm his aunt's place..

at least he emailed me to let me noe..but NOOOO!! i wasnt satisfied...I was feeling insecure at tat momemt and so i had to find fault in him and doubt his love for me...WAT A "NICE GF" i am...Sigh..I'm so sorrie...

while he was busy helping in his aunt's house..i continued being negative abt our relationship..and i was hoping tat he somehow called...and guess wat...?? HE CALLED on one fine nite..I WAS SO HAPPY...maw2x..i promise i'll try to be optimistic okie?

he assured me wen i needed it da most...hehehhee...and da best thing abt it..he told me tat da diff btw us is tat i'm fickle mineded whereas his mind is made up..which is true to some extend...hehehee...hey..i'm nt fickle minded..just tat i'm worried tat someone might take u away frm me....okie?

anyhoo,i'm busy with the festive season...da dog festival just ended..da dog gets lotsa respect on tat day...kekekkee...da pics above r taken on tat day...today is hmmm...tihar...i'll be going to da village area tmr...staying ter for couple of days..jeezz...i'm worried abt how to get to my dad's village...i have to climb a hill to get ter..anyhoo,i'll stop here...

poor durga sis...i made her come to da cybercafe wif me...and she's bored to death...will update my blog again wen i get back from da village okie?

p/s: hubby...miss u lotsaaaa....dun be noti ah...i loved ur poem btw..moved me to tears...sigh..i'm sorrie once again..will wait for u alritey? muacks..

2005-10-23T17:35:00.000-07:00

=WeeeeeEEEEEEE=

It's been raining cats and dogs..very cold down here...i've been sun bathing time and time again..Yikes..hehhee..Cass,i dun need da beach man..i can sun tan at my spacious rooftop..lolx..so yep,once again i shall maintain my bronze skin..

so many things have been happening down here that i dunnoe where to start..To start out with,i love shopping here partly because the things are soooo cheap. I always have a shopping frenzy wenever i go out. Just days ago,i bought a pink jacket..so sweeettt which every of my gal pal has been gushing about..i also bought cosmetics and shoes...and a lime green belt which cass wld die for...not to worry,as soon as i register and get my postal box,i'll send u guys parcels...okie cass mimi?

and yep,yesterday i went to NEW road which is an equivalent to Orchard road of singapore. I went ter wif my parents,my bro and also my sister in law to apply for the US DV lottery. My dad suggested tat we try our luck for fun as the application fees are low and who noes,we may be lucky enuf to struck da lottery and get to go to US! wen we entered the office which is of coz at New Road,i caught sight of the most sweetest,cutest thing ever!!! TIGER MIMI!! yeshhh...ter in da midst of zillion of pple (da office was freaking crowded) sat a baby kitten tat looked exactly like my tiger mimi..It was so tiny..So furrryyy..AT tat instant i screamed in delight..Hehehe..I was literally like a small kid together with other small kids gushing over da kitten...lolx..i cldnt care less wat other grown ups thought of me at tat instant..Tat baby kitten melted my heart in instant..In nepal,ter r stray dogs everywhere and no cats at all...It's often rumoured tat those peeps who keep cats are those who practises witch craft (bull shit)..So i was overjoyed wen i saw da kitten den..

my house consists of me,my parents,my bro,my sis in law,helper gal,2 of my guy cousins,my mum's sister. U guys may think tat this family size is enormous but believe me,it's just nice. It tends to get quiet if ter is less than 9 pple in the house. Oh yea,how can i forget my pet dog,bodtthuu..lolx..Initially i was afraid of it..it's huge okie (german shepard bred,get it?) ahahhaa...But now it likes to play wif me.It's a perfect guard dog at nite and a spoilt dog in da morning..

i've been thinking about my relatiobship with hahn..hmmm,DEEP THOUGHTS..~sigh..I dunnoe why but i'm feeling uneasy..really uncomfy..i'm falling sick as well..Stupid weather..I need sunshine on a cloudyyyyy dayyyyy!!!

One interesting new!!! Extra Xtra!! Read all abt it!! I SIGNED UP FOR AIR HOSTRESS FOR A UNITED CHARTERED FLIGHT COMPANY!!! yep,i'm serious..i even went for da interview..I was all set to flyyyy wennn i changed my mind..yep...The pay was okie..Becos it's small chartered flight tat caters to the muslim who wanna make trips for da haj,i wld get paid US $ 500 for a mth..ANd da job was only for 3 mths..Good money..I went for da medical check up...AND guesssssssssssssssss wat?

Peep!!!! &^(*^)*^)*^*(^(*^... I was suppose to go for blood test so obviously da lab techs were gonna take my blood. But this bloody guy,he poked me & NTH CAME OUT!!! fuckkkkk!!! He was fishing for my vein to make da matters worse..Nvm,i tot to myself..Give him another chance..SO i did!! AND guess wat???

HE POKED ME ANOTHER TIME (2ND TIME!!)...da toniquet was bloody tight on all occasions!!! I was telling him tat it was too tight and it cld affect da blood result..Imagine this!! My whole arm was turning bluee...Brrrrr...2nd try and NTH!!! He was still doing his "fishing" shit..Da pain was unbearable..Ter was nth to support my arm wen he was taking da blood. And as he withrawed the needle,guess wat?!!! HE always scraped my skin!! FUCK!!!! sO BLOODY PAINFUL!! tat was da last straw..I was yelling like a mad woman..ANd told dem i'll smack dem and refuse to do da blood test.I was on da verge of fainting,my head felt light..I was floating...Jesus..I cld have strangled him & da rest rite ter..I rested for a while. During which one of da staff checked my blood pressure,my eyes and blah blah blah..I'm surprised tat they dun even noe wat contact lens are...*FAINTS*

Last try...I instructed dem wat to do for da blood taking...And i told dem i did this kindda course!!! so yep,a support was brought to da picture..Finally,sth for my arm to fall back on...I found da rite vein and BAM! Blood gushed out! SUccessss!!!! My medical checkup was nt over..Ter was da X-ray..Ballsss..They didnt have a robe and it was a guy radiographer..He happily asked me to take my top off...HELLOOOO!!! did u take me for a fooollll??? I SCREAMED straight at his face..No way wld i remove my top in front of him..And i requested for a robe..No robe...*faints* I told him to wait outside and i removed my bra but retained my top. So x-ray was done too!

Stupid guys..I tell u!! arrghh..they'lll oogle at u like nobody's business..

Anyhoo,i got to meet my fren's bro finally which is also like my bro..hmmm,he changed alot..he even possesses a bike and have bike racings at nite..I told him he must be nuts going at 155km/hr on a road like nepal..I was invited to his house to have dinner..I was given so much to eat..My gal cousin was ter too..We were struggling to finish da food..And He commented " eat more,u look like u r not given anything to eat..u slimmed down alot..." Anyway,his name is DOM. ahahhaa...a childish younger bro to me...

jeez...i've been getting tat frm everyone...brrrr...i'm still fat leiiiii...I'm not tat skinnnyyyyyyyy....yep,da other dayy Dom's sister,gabbi who's my gal pal was staring at my body and she commented..wahhh,wat a desirable figure..i was like "huh?"
nooo..I'm still fat..Den i fd out tat she liked waist..lolx..GALS...

i went wif her to get her hair rebonded...hehehee..together wif my cousin..I'll be going ter soon wif dem again to do manicure and pedicure..kekeke...fREaking cheap..lolx...

annyhoo,i'm feeling unwell..arghhhh..freak...gonna be down wif fluuuuuu againnn....

oh yea,i have a cute neighbour whom my cousin has a crush on..lolx..tat silly gal..he's younger than us ballssss!!! ahahhahaa...

hmmmm,wat else..hmmm....yep..i want boots for my christmas present..mummyyyy cass...get it for me okie? fur high boots...those jessica simpson ones...

ANd to maw2x...hmmm....sigh...u r never ter wen i call u..or wanna call u...

Till den...i'll take more pictures and upload soon....

p/s: i bought huge shades...ahahhaha...Finally got da one tat i'm looking for...Take care my mimis..Take care maw2x...

2005-10-08T07:05:00.000-07:00

=life in nepal (part 2)=

everyday,i wake up 7 am in da morning which is s'pore's hmmm...9 plus am. breakfast is prepared by my brother's wife & one of the helper. did i mention tat i have a dog? a firece doggie of german shepard but the poor dog is sick..

i've been occasionally going out..things in nepal r cheap,dead cheap. i met cass online yesterday & was telling her abt my shopping spree. kekkekee...i bought 2 DKNY sweat shirts,very nice..it only costed me 1500 rupees (divide by 42 if u wanna convert to sing dollars) & i also bought PUMA shoes for only 560 rupees. but u have to be careful cuz they sell imitations as well. well,my mimis sorrie to inform u but i've no interest in those cute guys here in nepal..my heart does not permit me to..but ter r plently of cute & rich guys here (winks at cass mimi)..

i miss maw2x so badly. freaking foncalls via internet sucks most of d at time but tatz wat i can afford. da net is da best thing but arghhh da connection speed's slowwwwwwwww.....cass,thanks 4 posting da pics for me. but da pics r freaking huge..hehehhehe...thanks anyway...yeshhhh/// i'll send u stuff wen i'm free okie?

festivals r coming up..i'm bz wif da preparations. so after da festivals i'll start to do things den.

i dreamt of maw2x...i dreamt tat of chic-chicking..& so much more...i'm getting paranoid too..so scared tat u might find some1 new along da way..anyhting can happen unexpectedly...yep...i'm still holding on to us,our relationship...

this morning i woke up wif a bad cramp,period!! argh....no more fasting for me den..i slept wif jumbles my toy cat tat maw2x & didi gave me...dear,dun worry too much..sorrie for da pressure tat my parents gave u..i can do nth much other tat. i'm in a tight spot too.. sorrie....

frens,if anyone of u wanna tour nepal,i'll play as a host..inform me ya...

till den,tmr i shall blog..

p/s: mama..send me da fotos tat we took wif pakicik...rhomba thkns

2005-10-06T19:20:00.000-07:00

=life here in nepal=

where do i start? life in nepal has been an interesting affair. the roads are horrible,full of rubbles & stones. i miss the s'pore roads pitched and clean..down here in nepal,it's very dusty & dirty bt neverless the city is full of life.

i miss my darling hubby..not forgetting all my bestest mimis..

hubby,i'm fasting for u..yep,i am..i'm also trying to convince my parents tat u r a good guy & u r serious abt me(well at least tat's wat i believe). i've been quarelling with my parents over my relationship these past few days. the reason being tat my bf is different frm me. he's a muslim singaporean malay and me,i'm a nepalese who practices buddhism & hinduism. my mum's kinda against this relationship. apparently,they tink tat maw2x is out to break my heart,cheat me of my emotions and money & everything else. my dad argued tat if he loved me,he wld have called me everyday wifout fail wifout worrying abt money. i reasoned wif my dad telling him tat he's still schling and he's got no job. my dad was uneasonable stating tat tat was nt da issue. hell,it was to me & him! why cant they understand!!! i was screaming my head off. i love my parents and i love my bf as well. both of them r important to me.

my dad told me" if u guys r serious abt each other,i've gt no problem wif tat. i'm not ur enemy rmbr tat. (yea rite,he does have a problem. he has a problem tat his daughter's in love wif some1 out of ouyr own race.) Go and call him & ask him to take u away. & u guys can marry. i will say nth & will give u even my blessings."

i tried explaining to him tat yesh..i'm not like other gals who take relationship lightly. i am serious abt hahn but tat doesnt mean anything at all...no one noes da future..i wld love to get married to him..but 1st,i wanna complete my education 1st....go UK...earn money...pay back my dad money..look after them...wen finally hahn's settled in life too & we r still together,den i will wed. if not,no thanks.....

den he answered me.."u want me to spend all the money on ur education and u finally get married to tat guy...waste of money..!!"

i was so freaking pisssed and argued tat i wld give all da money he spent on me and even look after him. but he said "u tink he wld let u give out money to us wen he's ur husband?"
i answered back saying tat he's being unreasonable and attacking hahn. i told him tat even if i was to get married to my own race guy he wld fucking not allow me to give my family money.

i stormed off,nt wanting to talk..arghhh..it really pissed me off...disgusted me...utterly...

i'm nt giving up on hahn & our relationship. i've faith in us. dear,we really have to work extra hard. we have to prove our parents & other ppple wrong! okie..be strong and dun give up! i love u and yesh i am dead serious abt u.

dearest maw2x,i really love jumbles! i always hug it to sleep at nite. i always used to wear ur jacket to sleep cuz it's so warm & nice,reminds me of u hugging me. sometimes,i really wish tat u cld take me away frm here. dun worry too much k...everything's gonna be alrite...

cass& dok...i had great fun wen u guys slept over at my place da day b4 i left. ahhahaa...this cass mimi was sooo freaking annoying,yakking away refusing to let da rest of us sleep. we finally slept ard hmm....5am i tink...jeeez....less than an hour of sleep.

i took hubby's bike to the airport. as we were reaching the airport,i started crying,missing him...da thoughts of us doing things together,da moments we had..all flashed back..wen it was time to leave,cass started crying..and i burst out crying as well...balls,my baggage was excessive..phew,an officer stopped me & decided to cargo one of my heaviest luggage! still,it was heavy for me.

i had a wee bit of culture shock wen i arrived here in nepal. but i'm getting used to it...i'll try to blog often ya...

2005-10-06T05:08:00.000-07:00

hi peeps... im here in nepal, having a really fun time! miss you guys... want to blog more but the internet connection here really sucks. so just wanna upload a few pictures... and ya! will blog soon... hugs and kisses everyone.

2005-10-01T11:49:00.000-07:00

hey hey dearie... hahn ere..... how are u?! dunnbe notti ahh! lolx.... anyways.... my pc is down so im usin the laptop now.... so i am seldom online.... well its close to a week now since u went back.. been coping fine... september has to be a bad dark month for me...

for starters i miss my exams! now hafta repeat another 6mths..all bcoz i have dis idea the 29 is on a friday....come to exam room to see unfamilliar faces...until i checked my time table........ it put there 29/9/05 n i checked my hp, it was stated 30th september!!!! jeeeeezzz........ anyways... hope u are doing fine ther, im missin u terribly... my fever is still ther, cough, sore-throat all in one//....gez i need u.... well, u take care of tabby cat okie??? i love u dearie.... =)

2005-08-28T21:58:00.000-07:00

=long story=

i had some major screw ups thanks to da agents of the kim keat ave flat owners. Tat damn flat was so nearby my bro's sch,only a 5 mins walk. but yea,didnt work out at da end. So i moved in to ang mo kio ave 1. My present flat's very pleasant & big & da rent cost is da same as the previous toa payoh flat,except tat this one is way much better. It is a quiet environment with the bishan park nearby.

anyway,so much things happaned this past week. Big screw ups,headaches & ya i fell ill again. i'm down with flu and a bad sorethroat. f**k!! and somemore in the mist of all these screw ups,my bro's right leg gt swollen bcuz of outcome of his black belt karate grading. Initally the swelling was a-okie!! but gradually,as the days past by,the swelling gt worse and ya,we went to the chinese physician. ha-ha. a chinese physician bcuz of my agent. My agent was a chinese guy,a very nice & responisble uncle. Really helped us alot. my bro gt hospitalised in the end bcuz da swelling gt worse. he had to be transferred frm ttsh to AH. sigh. tat very next day,we were suppose to move house. arghhh. luckily,hahn was ter to help me along wif da screwed up agents who offered transportation as compensation. i spent da nite all alone in tat house by myself. sob sob. scary balls.

anyhoo,i'm writing all these frm my cousin's place. i visited her 2day at her place cuz I MISSED MY MIMI,MY NIECE!!! i even dreamt abt her. sigh..

during these period,i felt really lonely & i missed my parents alot. i realised tat i've been taking things for granted all along. i didnt experience all these shits b4. I didnt have to. My life was easy wen i was living wif my parents & in the camp.

i miss u guys. cass & da rest of da mimis. plus pakcik & mama.

p/s: esther,u'll always hav my support. i am a big fan of urs.=)

2005-08-19T01:08:00.000-07:00

::: hectic week :::

I've been busy looking 4 a flat somewhere in toa payoh which is as close to my brother's sch as possible. He studies in First Toa payoh Sec Sch. Finally!! I fd a flat near kim keat avenue. A 3 room flat!! Hmmm,it's nt too bad. Newly renovated. Funky bright colours. and it costed us a whopping $800 bucks.. ~sigh...I suddenly realised It's so expensive living here in singapore..All along my life,i didnt have to pay for anything. I was carefree & I had my family... but Now itz only me & my youngest bro. Soon i may be gone if the student pass is not approved...I wanna stay here! I wanna study!!

I've been busy packing my stuffs too. Too many things to keep & too many junks as well. I went to Ikea too. I love tat place man!! It was fun shopping for houseware. It made feel as if i was shopping for my own house. Yesh! I can finally cook as soon as everything's in place in da new house. And Frens,u can come over to my place lioaz...hehehhee...& BUNK over...My back's aching terribly. I carried huge,heavy things...I need a massage =(

I miss my parents too...~sigh..I'm sorry daddy for being spoilt..

I'm gonna be all alone in a freaking unfamilar neighbourhood!! I hate tat feeling!! I'm already terribly missing my niece mimi. When she's finally attached to me,I have to move away.But I'm gonna visit her regularly =) She always likes to pout her lil lips just like me...*miss*miss*miss*

I'll miss da house. sob sob. I've no choice bt to move cuz i cant possibly leave my bro alone. Well,most of the things r packed already & later on at 2pm I'll start moving.

I'm worried..worried to da core..No neighbourhood cld be as save as my previous house. Although it suxed living in Gurkha contingent bcuzzzz they have some rules & regulations,I really love the place,safe,cosy,warmth..everything..homely was ter. Now the new neighbourhood,I have to be extra careful.

My broadband connection has been corking up..Dunnoe wat's up.I cant go online anymore, anymore!! sob sob.No house fon too. Pure torture..Gawrd!! NEW house=Nothing!! I'm gonna be a hermit..HERMIT...

i hated some1 for wat happened 2 days ago. Hated maw2x. Hated him.Just for tat moment. Only Tat moment.I was terrified,scared,robbed of every emotions.Never gonna forget tat dreadful day,incident. Things will never be da same 4 sure.

Maybe it's just me..Maybe..He has really helped me over the past few days though. Hmmm,i hate troubling pple..Bothering dem!! Even my bf..

My money's running low..DRY...

I can eat now! HA-HA! I recovered fully frm my stupid infected gum & wisdom teeth. I tink i'm growing fat again. Wat da hell! As if i care. All i want is to have my boobs back. So eating frenzy here i commmmeeeee. It scares me how skinny the celebs r these days. God! Why do anyone wanna starve themselves? *tsk* tsk* I've learnt my lesson already man..

My social pass's expiring end of this week.I heard those bloody suckers r hungry for money.My fren had to pay for her 2 weeks of social visit pass. Wen did it ever go tat way? Since wen? Fine,gooo ahead take our money!!!! Arghhhh!! So fucked up!!

Ooopsss,sorry.I'll try nt to use tat..Cant help it times though.*shrugs*

Oh yea,I've started reading THE da vinci code by dan brown! Simply fabulous & hmmm,controversyyy man! Everything made sense though..cld be true? i heard they r making the movie based on the story starring Tom hanks! Must catch it..

Alritey den...

frens,if anything..just send me a msg at my cell fon or ring me up ya! I'm tired. I need a rest.

I'm missing u guys teerriblyyyy..

p/s: no pic la for this post..

2005-08-16T00:53:00.000-07:00

=How abt....ARghhhHH!!=

I did nth much today. Stayed home the whole day!
My lil brother wants to move out!! *Toot* I'm going nuts here,panicking like a chicken as I dun wanna leave my comfort zone. My cousin place's really nice! My dad even agreed to his condition. My dad really spoils us. He always gives in to watver we want~I'm ashamed of myself.

Nw i'm looking for a 3 room flat somewhere near toa payoh where my bro's schling..I may nt be staying with him for long. Unless i get a student pass,i'll continue to stay wif him. So frens,hmm,if u have a good deal for me,can u pls contact me? I need a flat for me & my bro. Just a 3 room flat maybe..I need the flat ASAP!

I'm gonna miss my niece,mimi!! She's so naughty..hehehe..Only 1 years ++!!

I'm pissed with him today! *ttoooootttt* &^%&^%^%* Sometimes he mentions his EXs!! I hate it! arghhh!!! I told him zillion of times not to mention his EXs to me!!! but NOOOO...he doesnt rmbr tat! ARggggghHHHHH!!!

At times,i think abt My relationship & i wonder if he's really serious about me. Based on Some of his actions,I doubt so. It makes me feel umimportant esp wen i got to know of how he treated his EXs den. I know i shldnt dwell on the past but hey...arghhhh,i cant help it okie! I'm a dreamer,I believe in the ONE!! Silly I noe but tat's just me ah!! I feel like giving up this relationship at times like this. I really hate feeling this way man!!! ON top of that,i have a fucking bad temper so yep,ter u have it! A perfect recipe for arguements & quarrels & fights. I should go for anger management..Seriously!!

~sigh...Screwed up life i have right now!! I'm nt having it easy,Thank U!! I just wish I cld see my pathway...My future...But NOOOOO....nth!! F***k! Blank...ALL i see is nth!!

All i have to do is to wait...wait...I'm an impatient person!! I cant bloody wait!!

i better head to lala Land b4 i do more damage to myself & other things ard me...

p/s: I'm turning into a hermit...

2005-08-14T23:32:00.000-07:00

=a princess who brought out a kid in me=

This morning,i felt blearghhh & lazy. i didnt even bother 2 collect my pants tat i gave for alteration. Hahn asked me out on a movie date together with his lil sis (above in pic) at Plaza Singapura. Her name is Anisha. She's so adorable,she's only 4 years old..we kinda had a wee bit of communication problem as she conversed in malay & me dunnoe malay. But everything went well.

We bought tickets for VALIANT,da birdy movie at 4pm,sneak preview. We didnt expect the cinema to be crowded with mostly the kids & da parents of coz. Hehehe...Overall,the movie was cute & O-K-I-E. We went shopping & she was attracted to the disney princess stuff. So we bought her princess lunch box which she liked & barbie stickers. Den we went to Cerisi where she wanted the cute hairbands which of cuz we got for her. We had our lunch at Mac..hehe..She had happy meal & she liked the happy meal toy. Maw2x told me tat she liked cheeseburger wifout the burger. Hehehe...So weird and cute. So she ate only da cheese wif the beef patty. She's so playful too. and Hey,she noes how to use my fon camera,nokia7610. Clever gal. She took snap shots of me & maw2x.

We took da train 2 cityhall where we took her to esplanade. Lolx. she had fun with da escalators. We had fun playing with the water at esplanade. We took pics ter. we sat at the esplanade bay and this malay family sat nxt to us. The makcik then asked maw2x whthr anisha was our child. Lolx. Anisha had cotton candy & ya,she drank soft drink till her face was red. Soon,wen we headed back home,she fell asleep on maw2x shoulder at cityhall station. I had a fun day today! but it was also da most tiring day for me & especially for maw2x. Poor guy! He had to carry anisha all the way to home.

well,my teeth & gums r getting better.I can chew already. I finally had Big Mac burger, a wee bit of fries & a good dinner at home. Yeshhh! I can eat my sphagatti,my brownies& ice creams & chocolates already! Yay! Hey,after all,i lost 2.5-3kg during my teeth paining period! I cant bear to see myself in the mirror,my arms look skinny though i still have tat extra flabs on my upper arms. heh! Well,i can look forward to eat with happiness & delight already.

tired now...sleeping...ZZZzzzzzzzzzz

p/s: anisha's so photogenic. hurf.wish i cld be like her =)

2005-08-14T01:03:00.000-07:00

::: friendship:::

why do pple let their temper get the worse of them? i'm a very good example of tat..i'm short tempered,quick tempered. one hell of a moody & emotional banana...Bcuz of my temper,i'm often jeopardizing my relationships wif my frens,my loved ones..

Relief..Tatz what i feel... I'm glad i've managed to clear some misunderstanding among some of my frens. the last thing i wanna do is to ruin all i have wif my frens..to all my tiger mimis,i'm very sorry.

my teeth & gums r feeling slightly better. i've been thriving on ribena for da whole day!! freak,i just weighed myself & i've lost 2kgs over a week..*scary shit*

my jaws's aching & feeling a bit sore. i dun wanna go for surgery to remove my wisdom teeth...arghhh...i hate the dentist...

all i've been doing at home is drawing,decorating my scrapbook...snoozing most of the time...i just bought a new book,da famous DA vinci COde by Dan Brown..i was and still am smitten by his style of writing after i read da digital fortress borrowed frm cass mimi. I dunnoe how he manages to captivate the reader's mind. Simply Wow..

I'm feeling dizzy nw...Lack of food again i suppose..Off to lala Land now...

p/s: in da foto above is my tiger mimi,my fav kitten..="i'll poti poti u and feed u to tiger mimi"=

2005-08-13T16:40:00.000-07:00

=heartbroken=

i'm so heartbroken to read a fren's blog...her perceptions abt me..of all the people,i expected her to understand me the most. it made me shed tears. u have ur right to write wat & how u feel...but maybe u shld read my side of the story...

i guess i have myself to blame for everything.

i just wanna let her know that i've always appreciated her help for the local sponsorship of her mum. yea,she lives at woodlands & every mth she has to come down to ICA at lavender. i feel bad too..really bad for troubling her. but matters like these,sometimes i dun have a choice. i need pple's help. and on wat happened on tat fateful sat in ICA,i dun blame u..i repeat i'm not pissed at u or anything. like i said...i only have myself to blame..my ugly fate..

i noe i'm always making things difficult for u..i noe i'm always bothering u...i dun want u to tink wen only i need u,den i'll contact u for help bcuz it's definetely not the case. i feel ashamed already asking for ur help & troubling u. Hence,i got hahn's sis to help me out instead..2 weeks that's all i've got..

thanks U for eveything...

i was shopping at far east for my clothes for departure..i saw u in da shop..i was filled wif mixed emotions...an overwhelming sadness& happiness & bitterness..i wanted 2 talk to u...i have sooo much to tell u..wondered wen i'll get tat chance...maybe wen i'm up & feeling better...maybe wen i have da courage to...maybe...

a lot of things r going on in my life & very few pple r aware of it..arghhh,if only u cld understand..if only u wld be in my shoes..

sadly,i do feel left out..as everyone's bz wif their work whereas me,i dun have anything to do...and i certainly do not want to intrude in ur life or anyone for tat matter now...wat if u r busy...wat if....wat if....in a way,i'm just waiting for u guys to ask me out..

i'm turning into a hermit..i've beeen cranky,moodyyyy....all bcuz of the fear tat i might have to leave this country...after all,my everything is here...frens,a familar place...familar atmosphere..it'll be soo hard to leave this place...

i wanna say soorryy to u guys whom i have not replied to ur smses...

i'm breaking down mentally & physically..i'm falling into a dark endless pit...
i've not been feeling well...i've not beeen eating well.....
i'm tired of waiting...i'm tired of running...i want an answer...i want my life to be straight & settled..i want an answer...fast!

wen i'm at my lowest,i always wanna be left alone...alone...i wanna be alone wen i cry...i dun want my frens&family to see me cry....

why do i tink so muchhhh??/ why cant i relax!!!???!! why? why?
why am i not emotionally strong yet? why???

I'm waiting for the day.....
....wen everything's bright & happy...i'll be ready to face u guys and come out to play with u all...

for now...pls dun misunderstand my actions....

2005-08-09T00:01:00.000-07:00

--->my version of funky dunky..i bought da head scarf at 77th street shop..i wruff da colour..i soooo badly want an afro..lolx..yeshh..i'm nutsssss....or a hmmm....cousin of dreadlock or sth...kekekkekee...

Anyhoo..mama my dearest fren..thank u so much lei for helping out wif my blog..i'm a complete blog idiot...i didnt really care to have one..but as the possibility of me leaving singapore is nearing..i realised how important a blog is to for me...at least my loved ones wld noe wat i'm up to..

last week,i had a traumatizing week..fucking problems everywhere...arghhh...i tried to keep my cool & not to lose my head on everything...my poor hubby's suffered alot bcuz of my cranky state of mind..i had been running to various places to settle my immigration stuff & also my sch stuffs..

for those of u who dunnoe wats going on..let me tell u da zest of the story...my govermnt bond is being waived up by my gurkha camp meaning i dun have 2 pay for the bond & serve the bond for 3 years anymore...but tat also means tat my excuse of staying in singapore is one less more...getting da employment pass approved is so difficult..i guess there is a fucking conspiracy in my camp...i really hate those pple....and yeshh,i wld curse & swear at dem & demand for the answers that we(my other nepalese frens& I) want to know...they leave us hanging,absolutely clueless...

Sadly to say..i'm really in a pathetic state...I've decided to take up a degree wif SIM collaboration wif the uni of london...a degree in banking & finance..*toot* wat da helllll.....pple hav asked me why am i taking such a complete different route? hmm...1stLY,i dun have a choice...2ndly.yea..i'm kinddaaa interested in banking & finance...hey.as long as i can study i'm happy! so right now,i'm waiting for the student pass to be approved..by the ICA...

Oh...did i tell u abt ICA? usually they gave us a mth of the social visit pass...but now,since the govermnt bond is waived off for us,they give us 2 WEEKS!! commmeeee ooonnnn.....*toooot*

Fuckk!! I'm sooooo frustrated bcuz of this....*toot**tooot* i'm born in singapore,been living here all my life,i'm like any other ordinary local pple...my dad worked here 4 27 years!! i mean 27 years...and wat does he get in return? fucking nothing!!! No PR...no nth...and me? haiz...i'm being treated like a fucking foreigner....real stranger...i feel sad & terz a sense of resentment at the same time. i always treated singapore is my home & i'll always do no matter wat..i dun even feel tat strongly towards my motherland,Nepal..

I've decided...if the student pass for the SIM fails,i'll be going back to Nepal..Frm there,i'll be going to london,UK to stay wif my relatives to study & work there. I'll miss my hubby...i hope everything goes well...and i'll be back here in singapore after 5 years..that's a very long time...I wanna embrace him & hug him & squuezzzeeee him. Hopefully,if God permits,we'll be like aka & shiru papa who r going strong for 6 years & counting,long distance relationship.

A horrible episode happened on last sat..it was da end of my social visit pass & i was suppose 2 extend it...but cass forgot 2 bring her mum's original IC & she was late..it was emotionally taxing for me..it was the last straw for me..i had a nervous breakdown..was crying all the way back home like an idiot! hmmm,i dun blame her for tat day...I've got only my fate to blame...I've got only myself to blame for not being strong,mentally. Oh well,i had to come on monday 2 extend my pass so technically i was an overstayer,A FREAKING ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT!! never in my life have i been humilated to this extend...thnxs to ICA of cuz...

Now i'm given 2 weeks to stay...2 miserable weeks...and i've been ill for the past 1 week...my body gave way due to the stress on my head. To make matters worse,my wisdom teeth's killing me & a bad sorethroat! my gums gt infected too...i can barely eat properly..I CANT CHEWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! arghhhh...I've only been taking liquid meals...been losing weight! Help! i dun wanna be a stick...Mama!! HElp...i've been calling my parents for emotional support..I'm still a kid okie..I'm a spoilt brat,i need my parents & my loved ones..

I wanna eat yummy food...i yearn for ice creamsssss....I'm shivering rite now...withdrawal symptoms..i dun wanna eat fish porridge & chicken porridge!!!! I bought mee goreng,delicious one...only to give it away to my Brother! ALLLL bcuz i cldnt chewww & it was painfulll....i'm talking like a daffy durrrfffyyyy duckkkk.....so embarrassing...

I've an interview tmr...ahahhaa....a job interview again..i'm just gonna try out..i noe the *toot* MOM wont grant me an pass but i'm praying hard for a miracle..

P/s: maw2x..thank u so much for being ter for me...always...i love u and i'll always do..call me silly but i have a feeling that u r da one.u give me all da wonderful feelings as well..u r a god sent to me..thank didi for me too...i appreaciate her help..shez so nice!!

mY eyes r starting to twinkle...Feeling hungryyy....hullicinating...

2005-08-06T06:56:00.000-07:00

=erma mama...testing testing...kekekkee..taken during cass's bday..